Anthony Zerbe

your fiend mr. jones

28Sep10

In my much-lamented former life as a stand-up comic, I used to have a bit in my act where I did, what I'm sure, is the only impression of Zerbe ever. The idea came from my memories of seeing this guy play the bad guy in almost every other episodic crime show on TV in the early to mid-seventies. Especially shows like "Cannon", "Ironside", "Hawaii Five-O", and, of course, "KISS Meets The Phantom Of The Park". Zerbe would give these shows his all, which meant using some very theatrical enunciation (putting him squarely in Vincent Price territory- not a slam, I assure you) while playing, in some cases drug pushers "from the streets", or other non-stage trained characters. The bit always went something like this... It's an episode of "Cannon" , where the detective has tracked down a "Mr. Jericho", a down and dirty pusher who has gotten Cannon's pal's daughter hooked on "the stuff". Jericho is the kind of character who wears paisley, collar-less shirts, John Lennon-ish sunglasses and Zerbe's trademarked, early-seventies slicked-back longish (but short enough that he could slick it back for his rare forays into respectability, playing cop foils on other crime shows) hair. Zerbe, in his clench-jawed theatrical enunciation and wolf-ish smile, says, "Cannon what're you hassling me for? I'm just a simple businessman." Cannon, in his booming Cannon-voice says, "Business? What business? Selling junk to kids?" To which Zerbe, chuckling, replies "Wait a second, first I'm a drug pusher, then a junk man- get your story straight Cannon!" Audiences everywhere adored me. Because comedy club patrons love a good Zerbe.