(Originally written May 24, 2007)

How unfortunate that my first time seeing an opening showing was such a disappointing experience. The disappointment, however, did not arise from the fact that I had high expectations. After the indulgent shenanigans of the first sequel, I expected the same from this film, just not to the extent at which it is presented here. Gore Verbinski has successfully created a trilogy in which he assures that each film is worse than the previous installment, recalling Livingston’s character in Office Space saying that each succeeding day is the worst day of his life.

The following are 5 reasons why this is such an awful movie.

5. Perhaps the most superficial reason as to why this film is awful is its sheer length. Like its sub par predecessor, At World’s End is the manifestation of sloppy brainstorming rather than smart filmmaking. A collection of ideas does not make for good entertainment if it does not all gel together. The movie becomes a test of endurance as we struggle to maintain interest for the full duration. It’s length without a purpose.

4. There is a romantic kiss in the film, but I could care less. The movie establishes no reason for me to believe the characters have a reason to be together, even it is supposed to be a warm fuzzy moment. The film establishes no sense of emotional investment. Because the film is so plot driven, it rarely gives the audience time to understand and connect with the characters. It is as if the writers assumed audiences would be familiar with the characters, therefore no character development would be necessary. On a related note, Johnny Depp’s performance is uninspiring, predictable and unfunny. Jack Sparrow, the title Captain not being deserved as far as the reviewer is concerned, was a drunken buffoon without having the charm in the previous films.

3. So many characters are introduced, plot twists came a dime a dozen, and, overall, the experience was extremely confusing. The film attempts to be chilling with its attempts to create its own myth, but the myth becomes so muddled. As I look back on the film, not only do I not care to make sure I understand everything, but I am also very frustrated that my time was wasted in details that led nowhere. The intentions of each of the characters become so confusing to the point that the final battle sequence is worthless — you won’t know what any of the characters is fighting for. It becomes a war for the sake of war.

2. Keith Richards appears, but the appearance was absolutely dull. Although it may seem a cute gimmick to have Mr. Depp’s inspiration for the Sparrow character to play the father, there was absolutely no payoff. The film has a lot of small details that do not advance plot, entertain, or even amuse. The violence in the film is used so callously that none of the deaths are sincerely executed. All the characters are merely pawns in the story rather than individuals.

1. This movie is a rollercoaster ride that is more nauseating than exhilarating. In the other words, it simply is not fun. The film begins with several people being hung, and it attempts to set a dark and mysterious tone — more sophisticated than a mere adventure film. However, it aims so high that it abandons the pure fun that even the second film had to a certain extent. Perhaps the absolute worst sequence in the film is a hallucination sequence in which Johnny Depp is on the Black Pearl, talking to a crew of many Johnny Depps; this may sound nice for the ladies, but it is an annoying scene. It is this kind of unnecessary experimentation, along with weary acting performances and a lack of engaging writing that makes this one of the worst movies I have ever seen.