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Still a disappointment, even seeing it again with lowered expectations. Design is the only strength in the movie. The cities, ships, creatures, and ‘droids are all exceptionally well designed and nice to look at. The story is routine, the dialog atrocious. Even some exceedingly good actors often can’t deliver the lines with any credibility and poor Jake Lloyd doesn’t stand a chance against his lines as young Anakin Skywalker. He does pretty well when not forced to speak, though. And Ray Park, of course, moves well as Darth Maul. There’s never any real suspense, though, as we don’t care a whit about what happens to anyone in the movie. The original trilogy was all about relationships against a backdrop of politics and war. Here politics and war are brought to the fore with relationships barely receiving any notice. And the post conversion 3D is minimal and pointlessness only serving, when it’s at all noticeable, to make things look even more artificial.

Perhaps it was never realistic to expect The Phantom Menace to live up to their predecessors after 16 years. Had Lucas followed the example of Peter Hyams, he may have set more realistic expectations. Hyams had the unenviable challenge of directing 2010, the sequel to Stanley Kubrick’s unparalleled masterpiece. He wisely understood that the task was impossible and any attempt to recreate Kubrick’s genius was doomed to fail. So he changed the game. Using the many of the same characters and settings, Hyams made 2010 an effective space thriller that stood on its own and bore no resemblance to the original.

George Lucas, on the other hand, never stops reminding us that we are back in the Star Wars universe. If fans don’t feel that same thrill of years past, it’s our fault for losing our own sense of childhood wonder. Could it be that it was his own anticipation of this reaction that motivated Lucas to tweak his originals so that they more resembled the updates? If we had lost that sense of wonder, it was miraculously regained a year later when The Lord of the Rings proved that filmgoers still appreciate great fantasy.

All these accusations of jadedness were a result of Star Wars fans everywhere rejecting a creation Lucas was particularly proud of, The Phantom Menace’s odious Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar was the first fully realized computer generated character in a live action film. It was a technical breakthrough that paved the way for a battle ready Yoda and Lord of the Ring’s unforgettable Gollum.

Unfortunately, Jar Jar was provided with mannerisms so unbelievably stupid that the movie stops dead in its tracks whenever he appears. There was some talk that he was some kind of racist portrayal of a Jamaican stereotype, but I never saw that. What I did see was a character in a Star Wars film shamelessly breaking into Bill Cosby’s old dentist comedy routine (just before the pod-race) and making kindergarten level shit and fart jokes. Lucas’ excuse was that this was the episode for the tots. I couldn’t help but remember the droids and Ewoks from the first trilogy filling that function without insulting the intelligence of the very kids they were trying to appeal to.

Though overshadowed by Jar Jar’s inanity, equally frustrating were the vocal ticks of those Trade Federation aliens meant to convey some kind of bureaucratic threat to our heroes. Here, I found accusations of racial insensitivity spot on, as their accents were third rate Charlie Chan Asian stereotypes. Maybe subtitles are too much to ask for in a self proclaimed children’s movie (though they certainly worked for Jabba the Hut), but at least pay some attention to where your alien dialects are coming from.

I’m less annoyed by young Jake Lloyd’s casting as future Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, in his childhood years. He’s not particularly engaging, but he’s also not given much to do. If he doesn’t match such stellar child actor performances as Henry Thomas in E.T or Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense, its likely that he was cast too young for a part that could have been more involving with an actor a few years older.

If you’re waiting for the “on the other hand” part, here it is. The Phantom Menace was successful in using computer technology to create a rich visual pallet and a beautiful looking film. The sprawling cityscapes of Coruscant (very influenced by Blade Runner) and the royal classicism of Naboo, showed that new computer technology could be used not just as enhancements, but to create whole worlds from scratch. Most impressive was an underwater chase sequence that collected a vivid menagerie of sea monsters and ended much too soon.

So we have some quality set pieces, but what is sorely missing from The Phantom Menace is a strong overall narrative. So much emphasis is placed on the film’s technical achievements that the story just gets bogged down. The political maneuverings that will pay off in subsequent episodes are never made interesting here and, worse, even the concept of the Force is made mundane by providing a pseudo-science explanation for what should have remained a spiritual phenomenon.

The Phantom Menace scores some points on the visual side, but what it does poorly, it cannot really recover from. As enjoyable as some sequences are, without a solid narrative through-line, it’s not really Star Wars. It’s the kind of movie that fast-forward buttons were created for. Particularly, when any line of dialogue begins with “Meesa.”