Lars Von Trier’s feature debut is an incredibly stylish bore. An absolute triumph of cinematography and production design – creating a fully-realized cinematic world through atmosphere, unfortunately the story goes nowhere – it’s clear that narrative coherence is not the point, but if we’re expected to sit through 104 minutes, there needs to be something to keep us interested. Bland characters look dazed as they spout out cryptic, pretentious dialogue as the plot gets more complicated and less interesting. Worst of all, it is painfully, painfully slow. Almost worth watching for the amazing visuals alone, but only if you have tremendous patience.