MAJOR SPOILERS

This movie made me feel really sad although I could see where it was going to go, which also made me feel relief, the same way one would feel if they were as bi-polar as Joaquin Phoenix’s character Leonard. Throughout the film, Leonard switches back and forth between his emotions of high and low energy, which shows him as a damaged and confused person who has had a failed relationship that makes him pessimistic about what will happen next. The way he keeps jumping at the moments he meets the two women – Sandra (Vanessa Shaw) and Michelle (Gwyneth Paltrow) – on two different occasions, there is a desperation in him to connect with women for how little he’s known them that his moments of happiness are rushed attempts to escape from his depression.

The two women are different in their own ways, which embodies Leonard’s own struggles with his two-sided personality. Sandra is the nice and gentle woman with a successful nuclear family who remains stable and non-judgmental around Leonard, whereas Michelle is the more emotionally broken woman who lives alone and is tense about her relationship with a married man. Given how he meets these two women close within the same time frame, it’s a mad rush of adrenaline as he obsesses of meeting them, yet he spends a good chunk of time with Michelle as he gradually sees her change from a fun-loving gal to a sobbing loner who needs a friend. The way they connect makes them appear as equals in that they are both dealing with emotional problems, which makes the chemistry between Phoenix and Paltrow stirring. At the same time, there is hardly any sign that this relationship could work out given that they are both people in need of help and that failing relationships are a danger to their well-being.

In that case, it seems more rational that Leonard should go with Sandra because of her stability and kindness towards him, regardless of his unusual behavior. Yet he keeps growing desperate about Michelle the more she sobs about her boyfriend not leaving his wife and clinging to him for help, until he finally says he wants to go with her to San Francisco in the hope that it will be better for them both. As excited as he is, we can see in Michelle’s face how reluctant she appears, even when they both have sex on the rooftop. When she happily calls him and says she will go with him, there is still an unease in that they might not be thinking carefully about their choices and that this is just a racy attempt to escape from the problems they have in New York that could only reoccur in San Francisco. When Leonard gets very serious and buys airline tickets and an engagement ring for Michelle, he really is going in over his head, despite how happy he may be about it, especially after he goes to a meeting with Sandra’s father to hear about a merger with his father’s company for the hope of a successful future. The fact that he’s keeping secrets under the table and goes to his parents New Years Party while preparing to sneak out and run away with Michelle makes it all the more uneasy that he’s going to leave his family so suddenly without explanation and in the middle of an important business affair that could affect them all. However, once he heads down the stairs, his mother (Isabella Rossellini) catches him, but doesn’t discourage him. Instead, in the most heartbreaking moment, she hugs him and tearfully wishes him happiness, which shows how much she has loved and cared for him, but at the same time there is worry he’s making the wrong and hasty decision. At the same time, I could feel anxious to see him slip out and wait for Michelle to come down to join him, but the longer it takes for her to show up, it means that this escape plan isn’t going to go as he hopes. Once she does come down and says that her boyfriend has decided to leave his wife and stay with her, there is a sadness and regret in her face, but it’s clear she feels it’s necessary for both their sakes. As before, Leonard is heartbroken by this and is driven to contemplate suicide as he stands on the cold beach, until he looks at a glove from Sandra and realizes that there is someone back there who does care about him, even though he may not be deeply in love with her.

The decision he makes to steer away from suicide and go back to the party into Sandra’s arms may seem radical, but it’s the decision he’s made where he can feel safe and secure in a life where he will have good work and a loving partner. Rather than run away with an equally depressed woman or killing himself to escape his problems, his choice to stay where he is with his parents who have cared for him and a woman who also cares for him is a way that he can confront his problems. Whether or not he will be happy with his new life is the hard question, but the fact that he’s once again avoided suicide and is in the company of loved ones is his way of remaining stable with what is right in front of him. For me, it seemed the most safest way for his life to go rather than for him to run away, which is what made me relieved that the film didn’t explode into a glamorized story of a happily-ever-after romance while also making me sad about all that he and Paltrow go through in this film. While they are characters in need of love, they also are in need of help and sanity, which makes it hard for them to get away with their fairy tale ideas and leaves their fates uncertain. It made it feel true to life and that there are not always sure answers of how people can turn their lives around when they are not entirely wise and healthy to know what will be the most fulfilling with the brick walls that come their way.