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Stop Staring At My Poop Canon: 100 Films I Would Never Ever Recommend To Anyone

By: Kai White

This is what happens when some people are over at your place and say, “Hey, what’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?”

The worst movie I’ve ever seen, as it happens, is Antichrist. However, it is so bad, I didn’t even want it on top of this list. That leaves the truly gawdawful The Spirit at the number one spot, an almost unreal combination of superhero comic book slapstick that truly must (actually, must NOT) be seen to be believed.

The rest of this list is voted on by a handful of people. I have seen all of these myself, and will contend that they are all quite terrible in their own ways. This list is ranked according to votes and/or desperate pleas to put a film higher on the list. Are there some worse films out there? Oh, most certainly. However, you might figure that a drunken discussion of bad superhero movies mean that this list is populated with many of those, and so on.

Not making it on to the list below, but would have if they would have been included in MUBI’s database:

House of the Dead – Uwe Boll, 2003
Highlander 2 – Russel Mulcahy, 1991
Screamers – Christian Duguay, 1995
A Sound of Thunder – Peter Hyams, 2005
War – Philip G. Atwell, 2007

If any of your personal favorites happen to have made it on this list, well, then, um, I’m sorry to hear that.

 

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MarcelVonStroknikov

28May12

I could never agree with you on Antichrist being the ''worst movie ever'' (or even at all 'BAD'), but.....whatever, i STILL love this list! -Sooo, yeah....i'll (begrudgingly) admit that it's 99% perfect...ha

Robert Rothschild

23Apr12

3 Men and a Little Lady on the same list as Antichrist. LOL you don't see that often.

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House of Leaves

26Jan12

You're right on most of these but there are a few on here I love.

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Chris Brandt

19Jul11

Over half of these are easily spot on, but the rest seem to be choices made through purist opinion, or hipster vogue. 100 very entertaining choices, though.

a Smith and lewis_longshanks like this

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