10 to 20 of the Worst Films You Have Ever Seen
“Druids is an attempt to make an indie Braveheart for the French, and that’s it’s most positive aspect.”
Wow! You win.
Carlita’s Angels looks awesome. That pot party is epic.
And since it was left out of the above clip, THE POMMELLING…
Den, first of all what’s a fey wuss? And are you suggesting Belle has a fetish for his beastliness? No where in that movie was that even hinted at…Let’s compare her to Cinderella who has absolutely no ambition (she talks and sings to mice…) and allows catalyst after catalyst to determine her fate. Does she find true love? If you call true love a guy who cant remember what you look like so he needs to fit a glass shoe on every girl in town until he finds you, than yes. I would say all of those things are much more damaging concepts than anything in Beauty and the Beast.
Plus Paige O’Hara’s singing voice is the sexiest.
in defense of my list: i never would have chosen to watch most of those. they are nearly all connected with an unfortunate choice of ex -boyfriends. sometimes compromises must be made….
@ Ruby:
//sometimes compromises must be made….//
I dated a young lady one time who was a huge Keanu Reeves fan….I still can’t talk about the films I was forced to sit through…..
well i couldn’t keep my mouth shut for long. i managed to sneak in a few samurai and wuxia films before he caught the direction it was heading LOL. i have to admit i’ve been dragged to plenty of chick flicks by guys who assumed this is what women like. i fell asleep during both miss congeniality and legally blonde or else they could appear in my list <—each were both first and last dates!
also wish i’d thought to add the green mile and life is beautiful to my list
and i thought munich was spielberg’s best film in years…
Perhaps the reason I’m still single is from dragging dates to films like Waltz with Bashir, The Secret in Their Eyes, etc…LOL….
Holy fuckshit, Polaris, why on earth did you watch Carlito’s Angels? It’s the sort of film that gets sold on DVD-Rs in trade center tattoo parlors. Those first ten minutes made me ashamed of my Latino heritage. Fuck Ride Lonesome, this film demands to be seen before anything on the top 20 poll, solely as evidence for my semi-racist argument that cameras should not be allowed in the hands of Mexican-American gangsters.
Only the first 20 minutes are on YouTube…
@Curtis Francis on the second page: I haven’t seen 41 Year Old…, but I doubt it could be the worst film ever, because my number 1 on the bottom is irreplaceable.
@HoL on page two: I was hoping someone would get the reference with Hawk the Slayer and Krull. Admittedly, I’ve never seen either.
I’ve actually seen Hawk The Slayer three times (!) I saw it at the cinema when it first came out and loved it (I must have been about 10) then it was coincidentally shown at a film society I attended shortly thereafter. It happened to be shown on TV here just the other day and I watched it again for old times sake. I could never class it as one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. It’s certainly no masterpiece, but its heart’s in the right place. This time round I found it quite quaint and great fun in a ‘so bad it’s good’ kind of way. Jack Palance is a hoot.
All I have to say: why do so many of you set out to see films you absolutely know will be abysmal? Have you run out of movies that stand a chance of impressing you? Have you completely tired of those tried-and-true old hobbies: quilting, masturbating, composing haikus in languages you’ve never quite mastered?
“Den, first of all what’s a fey wuss? And are you suggesting Belle has a fetish for his beastliness? No where in that movie was that even hinted at…”
not so much just saying the beast seems a lot more fun. She fell for the beast she should get the beast, same problem with Shrek. Shrek and Fiona fell in love then she became an ogre like him, he fell for the hot blonde she should have stayed the hot blonde.
Den, I have no idea what any of that means.
Z Bart—Most of these were seen in my youth, save for the odd “my kids made me watch it.”
But there are many bad films I love with a passion ;)
“Den, I have no idea what any of that means.”
not sure how to break that down any more.
The Core
A few more I forgot:
Speed 2
Resident Evil
Seriously, of all the films that are popular or critically acclaimed that I think are seriously overrated, they are way, way better than either of these pieces of shit.
This thread makes me suspect that most of you guys haven’t seen many really bad movies at all ;-)
Den, can’t make a list right now, but one of the worst films ever is National Lampoon’s Last Resort with the two Coreys. Everytime i watch it i feel like breaking things.
Even Cowboys Get The Blues has that affect on me too, but thankfully i only saw through it once.
Rather than come up with a list of the worst movies of all time, i’ll come up with the worst i have seen on the big screen, which isn’t necessary the same thing, although naturally there is a degree of overlap.
In alphabetical order:
The HItcher(2007)
Judge Dredd
Mikey
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Nothing But Trouble
Pet Cemetary 2
Psycho(1998)
Rollerball(2002)
Soldier
Species 2
Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot
^ What made you put down $$ to see these films in the theater, Joks?
good job joks
the first list without a movie I could possibly defend.
^^haha Den, nice :-)
ARI: a whole variety of reasons, but mostly for stars or directors. I used to really like Stallone and Kurt Russell in my teens. Chase and Aykroyd too. Mortal Kombat i saw with friends for half price, but still felt ripped off. The Hitcher was for free, but again, complete waste of time.
Species 2 was actually on a date, surprisingly enough. She liked it, i thought it sucked, and i just knew from that moment we wouldn’t go the distance ;-)
There is probably a few more i could add to the list, like Blankman, Bushwhacked, Sister Act 2, and Sleepwalkers, but i’ll just leave it as is for now ;-)
I saw an amazing amount of crap at the theaters back in the early to mid 90’s. Toys and Brainscan too!! and even Baby’s Day Out, which i don’t remember hating?!!??!
Bully
Dances with Wolves
Hook
Irreversible
3-Iron
Amélie
Borat
Old Boy
Leaving Las Vegas
Twentynine Palms
“Holy fuckshit, Polaris, why on earth did you watch Carlito’s Angels?”
I have a fondness for lowest of the low movies for a variety of reasons I’ll get into in a second. But what is strange is that this guy over here that I was working with, he has worked in Hollywood on movies like Drag Me to Hell and series like Battlestar Galactica, and he’d fall asleep the second a mainstream movie would begin but would watch these crappy VCD movies all the way through. So if we wanted to have a movie night complete with alcohol and lulz, we’d go to the nearest Carrefour and buy up 15 dirham (four bucks) b-movies. This was one of them.
Don’t think there isn’t any value in those bins. You can sometimes get a movie like this:
That has some magical appeal that’s nearly impossible to explain to people who aren’t willing to go with the flow and let the movie do its thing despite all odds (we’ve ended up watching this movie three or four times, and each time have to admit it’s surprisingly good in places).
Which brings me to
“All I have to say: why do so many of you set out to see films you absolutely know will be abysmal? Have you run out of movies that stand a chance of impressing you? Have you completely tired of those tried-and-true old hobbies: quilting, masturbating, composing haikus in languages you’ve never quite mastered?”
1) Let’s first start with MST3K. You don’t need Joel and his robot friends to enjoy the activity of watching horrible movies for the lulz, just a sense of humor and the right group of people. Alcohol helps.
2) Secondly, it helps put things into perspective. After all, if you really think Black Swan is the worst movie you’ve ever seen, then really, truly, honestly, you’ve not seen bad movies, truly bad movies. These movies help you to appreciate what real craftsmen are trying to do, even if it’s not Pure Genius. You cannot really know “good” until you’ve really seen “bad”, is my philosophy. And I think some of the lists on this thread prove my point, because again nobody who has actually sat through, I mean all the way through, Carlita’s Angels would truly hold very many of the movies listed here down to that level of incompetence. Hey, I hate Transformers and, well, it’s worlds better than Troll 2.
3) Confidence. If this shit can sell, damn it, I can make a movie too.
4) Inspiration. Behind these movies is somebody who tried. That’s the strange thing about it, and for whatever reason they found something appealing behind what they were doing. That’s one of the reasons why I enjoy American Cyborg: Steel Warrior. Somebody loved this movie. Somebody believed in it. You can see it in the lovingly rendered post-apocalyptic landscape built out of back-alley garbage bins and wires taped to actor’s skin to mean “cyborg” and the plastic floating foetis the characters are lovingly racing against time to save. It’s the exact same story as Children of Men meets Terminator but damn it, someone made it with $20k and a lot of duct tape!
5) The only thing that makes them truly irredeemable is if you can’t even enjoy yourself while watching them, even ironically. Entertainment value becomes valuable once you’ve sat through Revolt of the Zombies and discover it has neither zombies nor a revolt, production value becomes valuable once you discover that you actually cannot forgive Bad News Ballers for its cheapness, and stories are better appreciated when you can see that they’ve put more thought into it than the alternative. It makes the world not all that bad of a place.
6) The worst movie is the one that was never finished.
—PolarisDiB
“Somebody loved this movie. Somebody believed in it. You can see it in the lovingly rendered post-apocalyptic landscape built out of back-alley garbage bins and wires taped to actor’s skin to mean “cyborg” and the plastic floating foetis the characters are lovingly racing against time to save. It’s the exact same story as Children of Men meets Terminator but damn it, someone made it with $20k and a lot of duct tape!”
hahaha. I remember it being awful, but i love that you are talking about it ;-)
And whatever your criticism is of it, Joks and I’ve actually seen it, which is more than you can say about that script that’s sitting on your harddrive unfinished.
—DiB
Field of Dreams
Scarlet Letter-1995 version
The Color Purple
Platoon
Operation Crossbow
Pearl Harbor
A Dandy in Aspic
Cat Ballou
The Amati Girls (Not on MUBI)
White Mischief
Million Dollar Hotel
New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking
No Way Out (1987)
Four Rooms
Silk
I am Sam
A Little Princess
Harriet the Spy
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
Do the Right Thing
PolarisDiB
^To me, that says you’ve never sat down to watch something like Druids. “Context, expectation, reception, and visceral reaction” indeed… Druids is an attempt to make an indie Braveheart for the French, and that’s it’s most positive aspect.
—PolarisDiB