No — to no one in particular, Joks.
I don’t think anyone really thinks that it’s new. It’s just a very specific argument that was brought up in the Shame thread because Lemonglow brought up the idea of being sex positive and Peabody had just read the Tucker Max book.
No I mean not people here, the people who wrote the pick up book. (and those who follow it as if it’s something new)
Casanova (from wikipedia): Casanova claims not to be predatory (“my guiding principle has been never to direct my attack against novices or those whose prejudices were likely to prove an obstacle”); however, his conquests did tend to be insecure or emotionally exposed women.
However I hesitate to compare many people with Casanova…
Prince Charles de Ligne, who understood Casanova well, and who knew most of the prominent individuals of the age, thought Casanova the most interesting man he had ever met: “there is nothing in the world of which he is not capable.” Rounding out the portrait, the Prince also stated:
The only things about which he knows nothing are those which he believes himself to be expert: the rules of the dance, the French language, good taste, the way of the world, savoir vivre. It is only his comedies which are not funny, only his philosophical works which lack philosophy—all the rest are filled with it; there is always something weighty, new, piquant, profound. He is a well of knowledge, but he quotes Homer and Horace ad nauseam. His wit and his sallies are like Attic salt. He is sensitive and generous, but displease him in the slightest and he is unpleasant, vindictive, and detestable. He believes in nothing except what is most incredible, being superstitious about everything. He loves and lusts after everything. … He is proud because he is nothing. … Never tell him you have heard the story he is going to tell you. … Never omit to greet him in passing, for the merest trifle will make him your enemy.
I don’t know, if we believe some people are only attracted to woman, some people are only attracted to men, and some are attracted to both, shouldn’t it follow that some people are attracted to neither?
My experience with smart women is that they can’t stand passive men. It has nothing to do with any insecurity on their part or desire to be abused or anything, so much as a profound boredom with being idolized. Like, they don’t want to be dominated, but they’re attracted to men who can prove themselves capable of dominating.
Warrior females wind up dating their bosses more than any other personality style.
“My experience with smart women is that they can’t stand passive men. It has nothing to do with any insecurity on their part or desire to be abused or anything, so much as a profound boredom with being idolized. Like, they don’t want to be dominated, but they’re attracted to men who can prove themselves capable of dominating”
Hence why advocates of Game see no reason to sharply distinguish between ‘smart’ and ‘dumb’ women ;-)
Smart women tend to be inflexible ballbreakers imo. hahahha. or maybe that’s just me being bitter. I’ve had more luck with bimbos and women of very average intelligence(lower end especially)
Smart women are absolutely, positively not attracted to Joks. haha
Where are you getting these personality styles from, Jirin? I’ve never heard of a “warrior female.”
Links?…
My experience with smart women is that they can’t stand passive men. It has nothing to do with any insecurity on their part or desire to be abused or anything, so much as a profound boredom with being idolized. Like, they don’t want to be dominated, but they’re attracted to men who can prove themselves capable of dominating.
Isn’t this more about an active person seeking another active person than anything else? An opinionated person liking another opinionated person? Or something to that extent?
I don’t have a problem with asexuality at all. Although I’ve never seen it written anywhere as an official sex positive stance, I like to think being sex positive includes having zero sex, if that’s what you want.
OK, that sounds right. I was just curious. :)
Isn’t this more about an active person seeking another active person than anything else? An opinionated person liking another opinionated person? Or something to that extent?
Seems like such such an elusive thing. I know there’s some book called The Rules of Attraction, but I haven’t read it. I haven’t generally observed a lot of rules to it though!
I haven’t generally observed a lot of rules to it though!
Exactly.
Oh gosh. I just hate generalizations of both men and women.
Smart women tend to be inflexible ballbreakers imo. hahahha. or maybe that’s just me being bitter.
It is.
Yeah geez, Joks, I went to Barnard College so I’m not a dumb ass and I’m not a ballbreaker.
Geez…
You need to learn how to find nice AND smart women.
“My experience with smart women is that they can’t stand passive men. It has nothing to do with any insecurity on their part or desire to be abused or anything, so much as a profound boredom with being idolized. Like, they don’t want to be dominated, but they’re attracted to men who can prove themselves capable of dominating.”
I’ll go ahead and step in here and state that what this is is a transition through the generations as we’re figuring out how to redefine relationships and support roles with each other. What I mean by this is the post-feminist world was in a sense traumatic, to give it an ugly word, for men who were raised by their fathers to be traditional bring-home-the-bacon types but now expected by society to caring, sensitive, etc. It created cognitive dissonance and a lot of what we now call ‘Baby Boomer’ men really struggled to know how to act. Subsequently we had a sort of liminal generation of men who were trying to be the caring, sensitive types to a degree that was actually passive-aggressive and not all that useful. It’s the sort of story you here where a guy sez, “Why do women only like assholes?” but then takes it so far as to blame the women and thus don’t realize that women don’t like assholes, because you’re the asshole and they don’t like you. As we’re slowly climbing out of that hole we’ve dug ourselves, it’s not too uncommon of my female peers to, seriously and I mean this people, tell the men they’re dating, “Look, I already have a pussy, I don’t need another one.” This would be around the same time the whole “Man and woman of the relationship” memes about gay couples got traction, from my perspective (but I’m not exactly an expert on sexuality and gender issues over time, mind).
Thus it’s really easy for the men who see sex as a dominance/conquering act to do their thing since they don’t have to struggle with their place and people to misinterpret the positive sexuality movement as a “It’s okay to jackhammer without guilt.” Most men AND women in this day and age are trying to figure out where they stand and what is expected of them in relationships and if its any help to anybody, I think it’s getting better, people are becoming much stronger at standing up for themselves and defining their individual needs. But as that transition continues away from this traditionalist mode of male dominance to a shared mode of interdependent individuality in relationships, it’s the people who don’t think a split second about these sorts of issues that get to thrive off of the weak and unstable.
—PolarisDiB
but then takes it so far as to blame the women and thus don’t realize that women don’t like assholes, because you’re the asshole and they don’t like you.
HA HA HA YEESSSS. If you’re an asshole, women will not like you. In fact, NO ONE will like you. They’ll just pretend.
“It’s the sort of story you here where a guy sez, “Why do women only like assholes?” but then takes it so far as to blame the women and thus don’t realize that women don’t like assholes, because you’re the asshole and they don’t like you.”
Very debatable imo, at least for a reasonably large percentage of young women anyway, but i’m not willing to get in an argument over it. Let’s just say that i believe women need to take a little more responsibilty for sexual selection than they are doing in the present. That is my opinion, and i’m sure it will be an extremely unpopular one here.
The rest of your post is sound :-)
ODI: You need to learn how to find nice AND smart women"
any takers? ;_)
it’s not too uncommon of my female peers to, seriously and I mean this people, tell the men they’re dating, “Look, I already have a pussy, I don’t need another one.”
GOD. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN? I’m obviously NOT from that generation. I can’t believe these chics would say that!
The asshole theory is as old as shite. Seriously. Guys have ALWAYS gotten girls by being assholes, and girls have ALWAYS done the hot bitch thing.
What I can’t understand is why even give ground to these people? I mean, they’re not the only people on the planet.
I’m still getting over the concept of a woman saying “pussy” to a guy…
You guys need to move away from those kinds of women, and NOW.
I once had a female friend tell me that the reason my then boyfriend was probably going to break up with me was that I wasn’t bitchy enough, and that the key to a successful relationship was to be bossy. I didn’t take her up on that advice.
This is the dramatic question of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World by the way. Scott Pilgrim has to fight off his girlfriend’s asshole exes in order to learn that he’s a total asshole, and the heart of why he’s an asshole is because he has no self-confidence and so is very codependent, to the point of ignoring his girlfriend’s needs. It’s harder to understand how shy, indie kids are assholes when Tucker Max’s are running around the world being, word used above, near-sociopaths about sexual relationships, but that’s the new level of gender conflict for my generation and I recognize it often. It takes confidence and clear communication of personal needs, in other words, strength, to not be an asshole. The issue is that people still connote male strength with dominance, which is the more traditional asshole generator. Strength =/= dominance, just like timidness =/= codependence and humility =/= self-deprecation, but these differences are subtle and imprecise and take time and maturity to learn.
—PolarisDiB
“GOD. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN? I’m obviously NOT from that generation. I can’t believe these chics would say that!”
Odi, remember, i’ve mentioned this to you before :-) hahhaha
yes yes yes they are bloody out there!
^ good for you, Bijoux.
The funny thing I must say though, is when the asshole guy gets all miffed that you find him ridiculous and leave him in the lurch. Nothing like puncturing those egos.
The issue is that people still connote male strength with dominance, which is the more traditional asshole generator.
HA HA HA HA Oh my GOD. Let’s make a movie about such a generator!
Joks — yes, I do remember and I’m still incredulous.
And I agree with Odi, there are plenty of nice and smart women out there, and nice and smart men, but I swear I almost always notice (and maybe, just maybe, this is a horrible observation) that the nice smart women end up with the worst men and the nice smart men end up with the worst women. Opposites attract??
Nah. It might happen, but then, everything happens. (how’s that for vague)
Hahaha, well, I’d like to think it hasn’t happened in my case or your case!!
“You guys need to move away from those kinds of women, and NOW.”
Odi, these women are my friends, and I mean it. I literally had to get my ass handed to me by women telling me that I need to stop being a whiny bastard to start having healthier relationships. It’s the women who attempt to dominate via the ‘sex credit’ idea (“I can get him to do what I want by holding off sex from him as punishment for when he doesn’t act the way I choose”), the women who want men to put them on goddess pedestals and worship them, and the women who think sensitive men are sycophants that need to be avoided.
It’s the women who are all like, “Yeah I want you to empathize with my emotional needs, I want you to listen, and I enjoy loving, meaningful sex with you, but seriously, grow a pair of balls, bro” are the ones I’ve had the best friendships and relationships with. And the ones that have helped me figure out this whole ‘confidence’ conundrum as a generally and naturally introverted person. Before that, I was the guy writing the wall-o-text blog entries about “Why do women love up the jerks whyyyy???” shit. Inverse process to the same asshole end of the Tucker Max equation.
—PolarisDiB
yeah i have to say this ^ sounds very familiar :P
Joks
Odi,was that comment directed at me?