CINEMOLESTERS: The Dictator Review
The Molestation continues as The Cinemolesters share their thoughts on Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest comedy, The Dictator and attempt their best Borat impressions.
CINEMOLESTERS: EP. 3: Moonrise Kingdom Review
The Cinemolesters get all twee and shit after watching Wes Anderson’s latest auteurific effort full of French New Wave homages and Peanuts references. We also each adopted our own rating scales for shits and giggles.
RATINGS:
JARROD – 4/5
B-LO- 87/100
RYAN – 8/10
CINEMOLESTERS EP. 4: Prometheus
5 hours of drunken rambling about aliens, bad film making, and the meaning of life condensed into 10 minutes.
Featuring special guests Damian (www.noble-press.com) and Shaff (all the way from Kansas).
RATINGS:
JARROD – 2.5/5
RYAN – 5/10
LO-G – 50/100
DAMIAN – 3/5
SHAFF – 3/5
CINEMOLESTERS EP. 5: Brave Review
The CINEMOLESTERS are joined by Disney fanboy, Edgar as they nitpick Pixar’s latest children’s film to help themselves feel like big men.
RATINGS:
EDGAR – 7.5 Arrows
RYAN – 6/10
DRIZZ – 69/100
JARROD – 3/5 Stars
let the hate mail commence
stop spamming the forum, it’s annoying. also your name is totally offensive
it’s great to bro down with your pals and sip brew dogs and talk about movies, but i think you guys made the mistake of thinking other people care. also, stop molesting cinema
stop spamming the forum, it’s annoying. also your name is totally offensive
Is it considered spamming to make 5 posts in 2 hours under one thread that each pertain to the particular heading and fall within the general film discussion criteria? Also if you are offended by the name then that is pathetic.
it’s great to bro down with your pals and sip brew dogs and talk about movies, but i think you guys made the mistake of thinking other people care. also, stop molesting cinema.
It is fine if people don’t give a shit about our opinions or our videos. They don’t matter, nor does any other persons opinion really. I embrace criticism, but at least make it somewhat constructive in response to our complaints about particular films or even the general approach to “unintelligent” critiques. At the end of the day this is just for fun and the purpose of these posts here is to engage discussion with more like minded film enthusiasts. If you don’t care then don’t watch and don’t comment’; commenting otherwise seems more like spam to me.
commenting otherwise seems more like spam to me.
i’m not following you there.
this is spam. your whole profile exists to promote your website. a simple link to your site, or your youtube account would have sufficed.
pathetic to be offended by a name that suggests child pornography? please buy a clue
molestation doesn’t suggest child pornography.
mo·lest/məˈlest/
Verb:
Pester or harass (someone), typically in an aggressive or persistent manner.
Assault or abuse (a person, esp. a woman or child) sexually.
no it’s the cine (a film; motion picture) combined with molesters that suggests it. ok i’m done having this stupid conversation. you’re free to call yourself whatever u want. and i’m free to be offended
I don’t see how the cine suffix changes anything about it.
Let’s move on, shall we?
this is spam. your whole profile exists to promote your website. a simple link to your site, or your youtube account would have sufficed.
MUBI is a social media website. So it seems like a fitting place to share our averaged film ratings and opinions. People post their reviews and blogs here as well. This isn’t blind advertising. I am trying to engage with and interact with the community. A link would not have sufficed for further discussion, so I thought a thread would be most appropriate.
CINEMOLESTERS EP.6: Beasts of the Southern Wild Review
RATINGS:
JARROD – 4/5 Stars
RYAN – 9/10
DRIZZ-PUPPY – 90/100
CINEMOLESTERS EP.7: Magic Mike Review
RATINGS:
JARROD – 3/5 Stars
MAGIC DRIZZ – 73/100
RYAN – 7.5/10
son get a uniform rating system……
I mean no offense, but I feel like a group of people attempting to enlighten an audience about cinema should have, at very least, a remotely unique or engaging viewpoint.
These are hard to sit through. The opinions expressed are of the same quality as can be heard in the communications department of any liberal arts college in the U.S. Nothing is learned about the films being discussed and there is no value in these videos (except perhaps for those involved in their making).
son get a uniform rating system……
The rating system is an intentional joke…they actually all balance out to the same thing if you are familiar with fractions.
These are hard to sit through. The opinions expressed are of the same quality as can be heard in the communications department of any liberal arts college in the U.S.
The same can be said for every discussion in this forum or any other. That’s what people do on the internet; they share their bullshit opinions that no one cares about.
So you’re defense is that, “there’s a lot of worthless bullshit out there, so I thought I would contribute a whole bunch more, rather than try to elevate it.”
That’s called lethargy. It’s what many people on this site are trying to eliminate.
And no, the opinions expressed in your videos are of a lower quality than most the other opinions expressed on this site, or even imdb, or The Avengers’ facebook page.
Please don’t post, ask for constructive criticism, then try to defend yourself without considering the criticisms. If you are interested in improving the quality of the videos, then that is one thing. If you just want to continue posting a bunch of lethargic, semi-coherent film reviews, then Ruby Stevens is correct and you are nothing but spam.
My defense is that we aren’t trying to be academics or even critics really and we aren’t taking ourselves that seriously. These are meant to be natural unplanned and often intoxicated conversations with friends. If you want to watch people sitting in a studio or sitting on a couch or standing in front of a green screen in a static one shot regurgitating pre scripted thoughts then there are plenty of those types of reviews out there or just stick to reading Film Comment, Film Quarterly, etc. We realize a lot of people are going to hate it and it’s not for everyone, but it is a little unfair to compare to to something we are trying not to be.
I wish I could say that I hated the first two I could get through. That would at least be complimentary, but they’re really boring. I think you’re trying to provoke a reaction, but drinking all night and then whittling those thoughts down doesn’t mean you’re going to get a useable toothpick.
I mean – this is funny (spoilers):
!!
Your stuff was incoherent, what clips I could understand with the sound quality and the music being too loud.
^LOLd hard at the opening to that vid. Had to stop cause I haven’t seen it yet.
Yes, that ^ is funny. All the red letter media stuff is really good. I especially like the various Star Wars reviews they did.
@Cinemolesters – As there have been no positive comments about your ‘reviews’ over a period of nearly two weeks, might I suggest posting your stuff elsewhere? It doesn’t seem as if anyone’s interested here.
o come on now. It’s just one thread. sure it’s is not up to Mubi’s intellectual standards, but I see no harm being done here.
they are just starting out too, I presume.
My problem was never the intellectual standards. But as has been shown with the Red Letter Media video, an interesting viewpoint and/or presentation would be greatly appreciated.
You can be blue collar and still be worth watching, but there needs to be some sort of effort given.
Let’s not push people away just because we don’t like their stuff. Sure you can ignore it if you don’t like it, but they should feel free to post their stuff here. It is movie related. I wouldn’t call it spam. Someone else might enjoy it.
Let me just clarify further my observations.
I always encourage dialogue regarding films. Now of course the sentiment of the makers and most dedicated users of this site is that there’s a LOT more out there in the world of cinema beyond the mainstream and the most heavily advertised films from Hollywood. So it’s natural if you come here advertising a show you’ve made that hover exclusively on those topics that you would be criticized to some extent. But I hope the criticism doesn’t lead to asking you to leave. I’d rather the criticism be after an encouragement of your interests in cinema and lead to a challenge to delve deeper. I think it’s great when people want to talk about cinema in any aspect, even if it’s a conventional one. Most of us are introduced to cinema through mainstream offerings. That’s why they are called mainstream because they are what are most prevalent and thus most likely to be seen by more people. So if someone gets a taste of that and wants to talk about it, I prefer a response to challenge them to see what else is out there instead of dissuading them to continue their discussion because it hasn’t progressed to a level that we find stimulating.
Just my view. Good luck guys. Try watching something that is a little more subversive and more individualized than something from Hollywood. I’d be curious to see your take.
I don’t think it is what they are watching that is bothering everyone.
CINEMOLESTERS
CINEMOLESTERS: The Avengers Review
CINEMOLESTERS: EP. 1: The Avengers Review
The Cinemolesters belligerently critique Joss Whedon’s The Avengers and butcher film criticism. Featuring special guest and comic book guru, C.J. Let the hate mail commence.