Most definitely. I don’t let my obsessions interfere with my love life. Film and reality, no matter how much they may resemble each other, even if the resemblance is uncanny, they are still two very different things. Suffice it to say that I don’t equate love with critical opinion. Critical opinion isn’t intended to be taken personally (no matter how some may try or may think it does) and as long as everyone, including potential/realized lovers, keeps that in mind there shouldn’t be an issue.
Tough one. Let’s say you cheer for the Los Angeles Angels. Could you be in love with someone who prefers the New York Yankees, or (heaven forbid) Cricket?
Yes. If you want to date yourself just buy a 3 pack of Jergens and a 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton towel. Save some money.
No way!!! I mean, if they have different tastes than you, DON’T DO IT!!! I can’t believe you would ask such a question!!!
ohhh come on. If your entire relationship is dependent on film taste than you should re evaluate your ideas on relationships. This question is understandable if the person had the exact opposite taste in EVERYTHING than you, but just one thing COME ON!
Yes. You will never fully understand someone else. Even if they like the same movies you do, they will probably like them for different reasons. However, if they only like movies that are purely entertainment, completely narcissistic or just pain stupid movies, then there may be a problem. Then they aren’t really movie people – anyone could like those movies.
i think it makes a relationship more healthy, having differences like that, it brings conversation to a new level. why does the other person like those movies? what makes that movie better than this one? unless you are screaming at the other person you personal opinions on overything and not listening to what they say, its going to lead for much more understanding of the other as a person. be openen minded to all aspects of things. imagine going your whole life only associating with people who agree with you and your views on things. you would be the most boring person ever. my girlfriend is a vegetarian do you think that me eating steak and bacon is going to break us up.
It would definately be very hard for me.
I have never dated a girl who didn’t appreciate film. Well, that’s not entirely true; but I dumped a girl after she text messaged throughout an entire film.
I have never dated a girl who didn’t appreciate film. Well, that’s not entirely true; but I dumped a girl after she text messaged throughout an entire film.
Yes, in fact I would be hard pressed to love anyone who shares my taste in film. Watching movies is just one interest of many that I have and I don’t expect the woman I love to hold all the exact same interests in me. Plus, the types of women that like Cassavetes are not particularly attractive (both physically and mentally). hahaha
I reckon you’ve got to ask yourself why you and your partner like the films you do to get an answer to this question. One’s tastes in films are both symptoms and signifiers of one’s sensibilities, values, fears, dreams, intelligence, culture of aesthetics and a whole bunch of other stuff; so if you have different tastes because you, as people, irreconcilably clash with one another, then the answer is of course a definitive no. I mean, I don’t think I could have a meaningful relationship with someone who exclusively loved rom-coms and Hollywood blockbusters, because it probably suggested that person didn’t have a very questioning mind. I couldn’t have a long-term relationship with someone who got bored any time I pondered or asked “But why?” (not to say they are lacking in any way, just we wouldn’t click)
In your example, however, you have two people who are very much devoted to ‘quality cinema’, just to different brands of film – to me that suggests you both have a good deal in common where it counts (inquisitiveness, imagination, empathy, aesthetic appreciation and just a sheer adoration of film as an art form), and any differences in taste would simply derive from some emotional, aesthetic or value-based variations. These variations may themselves represent a problem or may not – if your partner laps up Balabanov because he/she is a through and through nationalist, I personally would have problems admiring that person and therefore loving them (as admiration is key to love in my book); but if they loved the director for his dark cynicism or unique take on the crime genre, I wouldn’t see it as a danger to our togetherness at all.
Yes, I am in love with (and married to) someone who does not share my taste in films. She does enjoy watching some really good movies and I can have fun watching some not so good ones. I guess my taste in film is not as refined as some on this site but it is definitely a little more discerning than my wife’s. For instance, I have one dvd shelf reserved for recent acquisitions. On those nights my wife and I watch a film together, we usually take turns choosing. One of those recent conversations (when it was my wife’s turn to choose) went something like this:
Wife: What’s The Seventh Seal?
Me: It’s a 1957 Ingmar Bergman film about a Knight (returning home from a 10-year crusade) who meets Death and challenges him to a chess match. I’ve never seen it but it’s generally considered to be one of the great films of all time.
Wife (still looking over the available dvd’s): Ooooh, Tank Girl.
Me: That’s a good one, too. Plus, it’s in color.
Wife: Which do you think?
Me: Your choice. I’m happy with either.
Wife: Tank Girl!
Me: Hello Lorie Petty!
Probably not, well I could try, but it probably wouldn’t go over so well. Like I’d much rather find someone that could hold the same experience with me of watching a film that we’d both adore. From past experience it just makes everything just that much more fantastic. Plus, I ramble about the films I am into on a pretty regular basis (or I wouldn’t have an account on this thing) so unless they loved them just as much, I would feel pretty awkward or something.
That’s a good question. Considering that film is my career (and my life) then that would definitely get my attention but it wouldn’t be that big a deal to me…as long as she respected my opinions on what I like. If she kept trashing everything I like then that would be a much bigger issue at hand that goes beyond taste in film. But as long as we respect each other’s tastes, I don’t see the problem. I like so much different stuff, it would be impossible for someone to like exactly the same stuff that I do.
I once said that I couldn’t be friends with anyone that didn’t like Seinfeld. Because it’s not just taste, but a fundamental sense of humor. Then one of my best friends said he didn’t like, and I didn’t stop being his friend, I was just really sad. He also tried to claim that Washington DC is more a part of Maryland than it is Virginia, so I guess I just can’t go by what anyone says.
I actually just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 weeks last night, mostly because of her taste in movies and music. When we first met, she told me she wanted to grow up to be a director and she loved movies, obviously I loved that at first. As I got to know her, I found out her all time favorite films were “Wanted” and “Never Back Down”, and I honestly felt deeply offended, both of those movies are so pathetic and terrible. Her taste in music was just as bad, I could barely stand it and every time she mentioned one of those stupid movies or bands I would cringe.
Crobley, good luck with reality.
What?
I was just thinking about it and every relationship I’ve been in (single now), the girl didn’t just dislike The Simpsons, but hated it. The Simpsons defines me as a person more than any other art or media in the world. I think I just discovered my criteria for true love. Any single ladies out there interested in a season 3-8 marathon?
I think what Law means to say is that some people devote their lives to things other than cinema/music/art and the sooner you realize and accept this, the better the world will be … or, say, future girlfriends at least.
You like shitty movies? Fine. I donut care. You listen to Nickelback? GTFO!
Delancy: I have the same criteria, only mine includes How I Met Your Mother. If you don’t like that show, you have no sense of humor/you’re dead inside.
I understand but it’s not like that’s the ONLY reason I broke up with her, Law. And for the record, she told me that’s what she wanted to devote her life to. I know I can like a girl despite her taste, but terrible taste definitely doesn’t help.
deepbluevelvet: you’ve inspired me to look into HIMYM. Should I start from the beginning or is there a particular point where it gets good? I hear good things about big bang theory. Yes, no?
Delancy: You’ll definitely want to start from the first season and I don’t really watch Big Bang Theory but I hear good things as well.
My answer is yes.
One pretentious film geek per family is enough.
big bang theory.. so great
The Office >
Howard Fritzson
Let us say you are passionate about Tarantino, Fuller, Peckinpah, Mann, Woo and they like Jancso, Angelopoulos, Antonioni, Rivette, and Varda. Neither of you sees what the other sees in the films of these directors. AND, cinema is a major part of both of your lives. Can you still have a romantic relationship? We know of odd bedfellows in politics. Movies have been made about this very subject. Is this possible for you?