Favorite Movies that have better names as Pornos

The Cincinnati-Bowtie Kid

The Big Dick instead of The Big Sleep

:)

P.T. Anderson’s complete collection:

Hard Eight-Inches
Boobie Nights
Fagnolia
Munch-Spunk Love
and of course…
There Will Be Blood

Two Pounds of Cum: A Face Odyssey

(2001.)

I’m surprised that I haven’t seen anybody mention The 400 Blows

Jeanne Dielman, 36 24 36

Ernie, it was mentioned early on. Look.

the harder they come

marry poppins

The 400 Blows

FUCKING ÅMÅL- the actual name is fine.

Glad-he-ate-her (Gladiator)

Wet Dreams May Cum (What Dreams May Come)
– Someone already put this, but I have laughed at this one for years.

Ejacula

I’m going to mostly use actual film titles, that could be titles of porn movies (or at least a hard-R rating). In a few cases, I invented a few take-offs on existing titles…

AIDA (pronounce it: “I ate ’er,” like Tony Soprano does)
AMERICAN TAIL
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (how kinky can you get?)
BACK STREET (As the Doors used to sing, “I’m a backdoor man”)
BALL OF FIRE
THE BANK DICK
THE BIG RED ONE (how’d it get so RED?)
BILLY JACK
THE BONER COLLECTOR (oops, that’s a typo!)
LE BONHEUR (mispronounce the French)
BOUND FOR GLORY (bound with leather?)
A BOY AND HIS DOG (some people LOVE their pets)
THE BOY WITH THE GREEN HAIRY (imagine the poster for this one!)
CHARLIE CHAN AT THE WAX MUSEUM
CINEMA PARIDISO (pronunce as “Cinema pair ’a deese, Oh”)
COMING HOME (is that like a shelter for sex addicts?)
COMES A HORSEMAN (while riding?)
COME BLOW YOUR HORN (or his horn)
DIRTY HAIRY (another typo?)
DR. STRANGE LOVE (this was nascent in the title anyway)
8 1/2 (inches or centimeters?)
FANOOK OF THE NORTH (you have to know Italian for this one)
FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE (what do you get?)
HAPPINESS (pronounce it with a French accent and, voila!: a penis)
HARDCORE (an easy one)
THE ICEMAN COMETH (Biblical ejaculation)
IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (how many light years can sperm travel?)
THE JAZZ SWINGER
KINK KONG (not the one with Jeff Bridges!)
LADY WITH A DOG (RUSSIA, JOSEF HEIFETZ, 1960) (some people LOVE their pets)
THE MALTESE PHALLCON (actually the title of an essay I wrote)
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARSE
THE MILKY WAY
MOTHER AND SON (a Freudian saga)
NINE QUEENS (ARGENTINA, FABIAN BIELINSKY, 2001) (This may have been done as THE BOYS IN THE BAND)
PANDORA’S BOX (did someone mention this?)
OF MICE AND MEN (why should this be considered kinky, if both the men and the rodents consent?)
THE RED BAZOOMS
RED BUST (pun on RED DUST, 1932)
ROCCO AND HIS BROTHERS (keep it in the family!)
ROMANCING THE STONE (quite a fetish)
RUGGLES OF RED GAP (use your imagination)
SHIT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (talk about fetishes!)
SPACE BALLS (do they shrink or get bigger in zero-gravity?)
THE STEEL HELMET (these days, you really need strong protection)
SWING TIME (wife-swapping epic)
A TASTE OF HONEY
THE THIRD MAN (a gay threesome?)
THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOM (conservation is important)
THE THREEPENNY OPRAH (She earned her millions a few cents at a time)
WHALE RIDER (bestiality is back)
WHAT PRICE, GLORIA? (Raoul Walsh, 1926) (About a hooker who won’t state her fee up front.)
THE WIND (a fart fest!)

New projects: I suppose you could do a documentary about an expert at fishhooks called MASTER BAITER.

And there’s the Spanish-language biopic about President Lyndon Baines Johnson: EL B.J.

Not you, Frank.

Please let this thread die.

T, you were moderated, how ironic and found a flaw in the moderating system, if you subscribe to a thread and then something is moderated you still have the email on what the person says. AHA

T: “Yeah, this is just sad.
Sniggering schoolboy syndrome extends to people with PHDs apparently.”

Schindler’s Fist. I’m not sure if it’s a real porno, but John Waters mentions it during his filmed one-man show, This Filthy World, which is good enough for me!

Star Whores

Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls (Dominic Ford, 2010)
Flaming of the Shrew (Yoni Marten, 2006)