“The good news is: yes, I am a cop and I have to take you in. The bad news — I’m suspended and I don’t give a fuck!” — James Woods, COP.
Baldwin in “Glengarry Glen Ross”: “You see, pal; that’s who I am and you are NOTHING” (most of the script could be put in here.)
Jurgen Prochnow as the seen-it-all captain in “Das Boot”. At dinner, he addresses the young uptight “Hitler-all-the way” officer:
“Perhaps our Hitler Youth could put on a record. The Tipperary song, if you please.” (Officer storms out.)
I forget the film, American drama: Man 1: “I want to be alone”. Friend: “I understand. I’ll come with you.”
David Paymer in “State and Main.” “….I am going to rip your heart out and piss through the hole in your chest”
Prostitute in “Full Metal Jacket” : “Hey Joe, wanna go sucky-fucky? Me go boom-boom on you long time.”
Aggressive band manager in “Spinal Tap” when the gay hotel clerk doesn’t have their reservations right:
(Says to other clerk)…..“so this twisted old fruit…” (Gay clerk): “I’m only as God made me, sir.”
Del Toro in “F & L in Las Vegas”: “How much for the lemon meringue pie” (after showing Ellen Barkin his knife.)
Thompson in the sleazy casino:
’This is what the whole Western world would have been doing on Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war,"
And one TV show quote I just can’t leave out: Leslie Nielsen as Officer Frank Drebin in “Police Squad”:
(Nielsen deadpans this to a weeping widow when she asks why it took them so long to get to the crime scene):
“Well, we would have been here sooner, but your husband wasn’t dead then.”
“There is one awful thing; and that is, for good or bad, everyone has his reasons.”
- Jean Renoir in THE RULES OF THE GAME
“Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood!”
-Clive Owen in CLOSER
“I need him like the axe needs the turkey.”
-Barbara Stanwyck in THE LADY EVE
Richie: “Dad, you were never dying.”
Royal: "But I’m gonna live!
-Luke Wilson and Gene Hackman in THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS
“I am a good egg.”
-Roberto Benigni in DOWN BY LAW
The Killing
Sterling Hayden talking to Marie Windsor: I know you like a book, ya little tramp. You’d sell your own mother for a piece of fudge.
Charlie Burns: Quiet.
Fast Eddie: Yeah, like a church. Church of the Good Hustle.
Charlie Burns: Looks more like a morgue to me. Those tables are the slabs they lay the stiffs on.
Fast Eddie: I’ll be alive when I get out, Charlie.
GTO – “If I wanted to bother, I could suck you right up my tailpipe.”
OKLAHOMA HITCHHIKER – (grinning to himself slyly): “I’m not getting out.”
GTO – (looking at the hitchhiker in disgust): “What are you, some kind of car molester?”
GTO – “Listen, banana brain. I had that cop eating right out of my exhaust pipe. You blew the whole thing. I was going to get a police escort to the state line because my wife happens to be having a set of twins.”
GIRL – “Did you steal this car?”
GTO – “Huh? . . . Oh, yeah. I stole it.”
GIRL – “You said you won it in a crap game.”
GTO – “I did? Well, you know, I had loaded dice.”
GTO – “But I’ll tell ya, there’s nothin’ like building up an old automobile from scratch and wiping out one of these Detroit machines. That gives you a set of emotions that stay with you. You know what I mean? Those satisfactions are permanent.” : ) Warren Oates
“We may be through with the past, but the past ain’t through with us.”
Magnolia
“I want my father back, you son of a bitch.”
-Mandy Patinkin, just before thrusting a sword into Christopher Guest, in THE PRINCESS BRIDE.
Good call, Soybean.
“Make it three yards, motherfucker, and we’ll have us an automobile race.”
-The Driver (TWO-LANE BLACKTOP)
“i’m a goddamn miracle of modern science” – one flew over the cuckoo’s nest
“why don’t you quit crying and get me a bourbon” – the asphalt jungle
“You know what happens to nosey fellas? They lose their noses. Next time I’ll……….cut it off and feed it to my goldfish.”
(Gee, Roman, for that one I’ll even forgive you for bedding little girls.)
“I’m talking to an empty telephone… ‘cause there is a dead man on the other end of this fuckin’ line.”
- De Niro from Heat.
" Hey! Sign says “shut the fuck up,” or can’t you fellas read?
[points to a sign that says “Quiet Please”]
- George Clooney from Out of Sight
“You know, in a situation like this, there’s a high potentiality for the common motherfucker to bitch out.”
- Don Cheadle from Out of Sight
Beautiful, Honey Bunny.
How about, “This is something that happens.”
Magnolia
“You think you know something, don’t you? You think you’re the clever little girl who knows something. There’s so much you don’t know . . . so much. What do you know really? You’re just an ordinary little girl living in an ordinary little town. You wake up every morning of your life and you know perfectly well that there’s nothing in the world to trouble you. You go through your ordinary little day and at night you sleep your untroubled, ordinary little sleep filled with peaceful, stupid dreams . . . and I brought you nightmares.”
Uncle Charlie to Niece Charlie in SHADOW OF A DOUBT
“You’re a very nosey fella. Know what happens to nosey fellas? They lose their noses. Next time, I’ll…………cut it off and feed it to my goldfish.”
(Thank you, Roman and Jack..)
PS – Some of you good people (Tobias and EFE) high-light portions of your text. Where do you find that option, please? Thank you.
Michael: My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.
Kay Adams: Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don’t have men killed.
Michael: Oh. Who’s being naive, Kay?
“It has been my experience that one cannot rely on human relations alone for any lasting reward, it is only work that truly satisfies.”
—-Bette Davis (from an interview). I know, I know, it’s not from a movie, but I love the quote.
“No no no no no! No no no no no no no no no!”
-Don Logan, Sexy Beast
“Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy.”
-Josie Wales, The Outlaw Josie Wales
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.
-They Live
“I’d rather sit in some joint in the desert boozing with Marlene Dietrich” ~From the film Warnung vor einer heiligen Nutte
“I’m sorry, baby”
“It’s daddy, you shithead! Where’s my bourbon?”
- “Blue Velvet”
“what are we going to do tomorrow Brain?”
“same thing we do everyday, try to take over the world!”
Rebecca: Should we leave him a note?
Enid: Sure. You got a pen?
[Rebecca pulls out a pen, Enid takes it]
Enid: [writing] Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore… you are gay. Signed Tiffany, and Amber.
-Ghost World
“Such are the vagaries of war.” – Kurogane
Ran
“The chinamen is not the fucking problem!!! and asian-american is the preferred term.” -Walter
The Big Lebowski
“for such an asshole bob sure has a nice kitchen” -Dignan
Bottle Rocket
“This thing we call samurai honor is only a facade”
Hara-Kiri
“Understand what you will”
Masculin Feminin
“Sam, we’ve always been good friends, well until this blows over just stay away from me.”
Brazil
“He who makes a beast out of himself get rid of the pain of being a man.” -Dr.Johnson
Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
“But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?” Life Of Brian
“There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend’s hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o’clock.”-Life of Brian
Are you talking to me?
“Me! I disgust you! You cad! You dirty swine! I never cared for you not once! I was always making it up to soften you! You bored me stiff! I hated you! It made me sick when I had to let you kiss me! I always did it because you begged me! You hounded me! You drove me crazy! And after you kissed me I always used to wipe my mouth! Wipe My Mouth!”—Bette Davis to Leslie Howard in OF HUMAN BONDAGE
Howard, I was trying to find that quote. “Wipe my mouth!” That scene is brilliant.
There is a clip on YouTube of the Bette Davis/Leslie Howard scene
Damn you, Crap Monster. Far and away, the best on the board.
Francesca R.B.
“Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you. You took no notice.” – Madeleine, Vertigo
“Well now Johnny-O, was it a ghost? Was it fun?” – Midge, Vertigo