Rushmore: “Whats with your nurse’s outfit, guy?” “Their for the OR scrubs.” “O, R they?”
Baby, I’m santa Claus, the easter bunny, and the goose that laid the golden egg all rolled into one.——Blonde Crazy
When Youre slapped youll take it and like it——Maltese Falcon
Hurry your ASSSSSSS!!——-Rivers Edge
Mr. X: I thought I heard a stranger. We’ve got chicken tonight. Strangest damn things. They’re man made. Little damn things. Smaller than my fist. But they’re new. Hi, I’m Bill.
Mr. X: Well Henry, what do you know?
Henry Spencer: Oh, I don’t know much of anything.
-Eraserhead
“GARBAGE DAY!!!”
“I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over”
HAL
I’m really bad at remembering quotes, but a cuple come to mind immediately:
“Be good to her, and she’ll be good to you.”
“I can’t stand the quiet!”
“Why do women exist?”
“Nothing like a machine to make a man feel insignificant. "
- Simple Men
“I used to be a werewolf, but I’m all right no-OOWWWWWWWWWW! "
“You’re guarding space? That’s stupid, isn’t it? Because someone could break in there and steal all the fuckin’ space and you wouldn’t know it’s gone, would you?”
“Was I bored? No, I wasn’t fuckin’ bored. I’m never bored. That’s the trouble with everybody – you’re all so bored. You’ve had nature explained to you and you’re bored with it, you’ve had the living body explained to you and you’re bored with it, you’ve had the universe explained to you and you’re bored with it, so now you want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn’t matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it’s new as long as it’s new as long as it flashes and fuckin’ bleeps in forty fuckin’ different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I’m not fuckin’ bored. "
- Naked
“…and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.”
- Raising Arizona
“In addition to our summer and winter estate, he owned a valuable piece of land. True, it was a small piece, but he carried it with him wherever he went. "
- Love and Death
TOUCH OF EVIL:
Quinlan: C’mon, read me my future!
Tanya: You haven’t got any.
Quinlan: What do you mean?
Tanya: Your future’s all used up.
THE THIRD MAN:
Harry Lime: Don’t be so gloomy. After all it’s not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love – they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly.
THE THIN MAN:
Reporter: Can’t you tell us anything about the case?
Nick: Yes, its putting me way behind in my drinking.
and probably the most quotable film i’ve ever seen,
CASABLANCA:
Major Strasser: You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he’s just another blundering American.
Captain Renault: We musn’t underestimate “American blundering”. I was with them when they “blundered” into Berlin in 1918.
Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
Rick: It’s not particularly my beloved Paris.
Heinz: Can you imagine us in London?
Rick: When you get there, ask me!
Major Strasser: How about New York?
Rick: Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade.
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I’m a drunkard.
Major Strasser: We have a complete dossier on you—Richard Blaine, American, age [IMDB says37—i remember it being older]. Cannot return to his country. The reason is a little vague. We also know what you did in Paris, Mr. Blaine, and also we know why you left Paris.
(Strasser hands the dossier to Rick])
Major Strasser: Don’t worry, we are not going to broadcast it.
Rick: (reading from the dossier) Are my eyes really brown?
Captain Renault: I’ve often speculated why you don’t return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator’s wife? I like to think you killed a man. It’s the Romantic in me.
Rick: It was a combination of all three.
@Rory O’Rear: That ‘bored’ quote is so great!
“Positive thinking is fine in theory. But whenever I try it on a systematic basis… I end up really depressed.”
Barcelona (1994)
“Why is it that when people have sex with strangers on their mind their IQ just drops like 40 points? "
The Last Days of Disco (1998)
“Fouckin hell” – Thewlis (Naked)
“Hey everyone! Come look outside the window!” – Citizen Kane
“The trees here are in misery. The birds here are in misery. I don’t think they sing, they just shriek in pain…but I love the jungle. I love it very much. I love it against my better judgment.” Werner Herzog
“You know, us dogs aren’t really as much of the dogs as we think we are” – Marty
Mother cleaning: Are you having fun while I do all the work?
Son drawing a sketch: I’m working, you’re the one having fun. – O Woe is Me
“Have you ever made anyone happy?” – Code Unknown
“That’s the way to becoming a better person. You talk to people who are different, not to people who are the same” – Winter Soldier
“You think three o’clock in the morning is early?” – L’avventura
HALF BAKED: I never thought i’d say this, but you guys smoke entirely too much marijuana.
BREATHLESS: (when responding to the quote “between grief and nothing, i choose grief”) I’d choose nothing. Grief is a comprimise.
ANNIE HALL: (regarding his Gradmother) …she was too busy being raped by Kosacks.
BLUE VELVET:
Frank: Let’s go for a ride!
Jeffrey: No thanks.
Frank: No thanks? What does that mean?
Jeffrey: I don’t want to go.
Frank: Go where?
Jeffrey: ..for a ride.
Frank: A ride! Now that’s a great idea!
It’s a sad and beautiful world.
-Down By Law
It’s like, how much more black could it get? And the answer is, none. None more black.
-Spinal Tap
Suicidal paranoiacs will say a lot of things to get laid.
-The Fisher King
“My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch
and the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one
piece and short. I’m in a world of shit… yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.”
-Pvt. Joker
“Shit, that sounds so good, I might put that on my profile.”
-me
“You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.” Sgt. Hartmann.
“Don’t condescend me, man….I’ll fucking kill you.” – Floyd (True Romance)
Animal Mother: You a photographer?
Pvt. Joker: I’m a combat correspondent.
Animal Mother: Well, you seen much combat?
Pvt. Joker: I’ve seen a little on TV.
Animal Mother: You’re a real comedian.
Pvt. Joker: Well they call me the Joker.
Animal Mother: Well I got a joke for you. I’m gonna tear you a new asshole.
Pvt. Joker: (As John Wayne) Well, pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my sheete.
Animal Mother: You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?
One of my favorite verbal showdowns.
“I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!”
-There Will Be Blood
“No…wire hangers…EVER!”
-Mommie Dearest
“Every time I hear the word Culture, I reach for my pistol.”
-Our Hitler
“Heinekens? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!”
-Blue Velvet
TRAINSPOTTING: Most people hate the English. I don’t, they’re just wankers. We on the other hand are colonized by wankers! We can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized by!
I don’t know man. Joker had the “Im rubber, you’re glue” delivery. A hard ass like Animal Mother just couldn’t shake the feathers off Joker; battle goes to Joker.
i think i just get annoyed when people do their “John Wayne”
…unless of course you’re Kurt Russell in BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA:
“Its all in the reflexes.”
“Hollow?”
“Hollow.”
“Fuck it.”
“What, huh? What don’t come out no more?!?!”
“Its like Jack Burton always says…what the hell!”
“Daaaiiisssiiieesss Daaaaaaaaaiiiiisssssiiiieeeessss”
I cry every time. Which is pretty impressive because it is both a computer and a “bad guy”.
“I’ll appeal to your better nature.”
“It’s hopeless. I haven’t got any.”
The Cheat (1931)
“Why should I give her my coat?”
“Because, you’re perfect.”
“You have a point.”
Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai in the 8th Dimension
ISSAC: has anybody read that the nazis are gonna march in new jersey? i read this in the newspaper. we should go down there, get some guys together, you know, get some bricks and baseball bats and really explain things to ’em.
JERRY: there was this devastating satirical piece on the op-ed page of the times. it was devastating.
ISSAC: well a satirical piece in the times is one things but bricks and baseball bats really gets right to point down there.
HELEN: oh, but really biting satire is always better than physical force.
ISSAC: but true physical force is always better with nazis because it’s hard to satirize a guy with shiny boots on.
DENNIS (interrupting): excuse me we were talking about orgasms.
MARY: oh, no, please wait no. give me a break dennis.
DENNIS: well we were.
MARY: no, i’m from philadelphia. we never talk about things like that public.
ISSAC: yeah you said that the other day. i didn’t know what the hell it meant then, either.
DENNIS: i’m just about to direct a film of my own script and the premise is: this guy screws so great-
ISSAC (interrupting): screws so great?
DENNIS: -screws so great that when he brings a woman to orgasm, she’s so fulfilled that she dies, right? now, this one… (looking at MARY) excuse me, finds this hostile.
MARY: this one? hostile.. god it’s worse than hostile. it’s aggressive-homicidal. you have to forgive dennis. he’s harvard direct to beverly hills. it’s theodor reik with a touch of charles manson.
POLLY: i.. uh, i finally had an orgasm and my doctor told me it was the wrong kind.
ISSAC. did you have the wrong kind? oh really? i’ve never had the wrong kind… ever, never. my worst one was right on the money.
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.
NOW GO HOME AND GET YOUR FUCKING SHINE BOX!
Love randomly saying that to people.
Nice Floyd Quote
Also All Of Jack Nicholsons quotes in Batman are Great:
OOOh we got a live one here
Wait’ll they get a load of me
This town needs an anema
C’mon you grusome son of a bitch
where does he get those wonderful toys?
Hey Eckard, think about the future
Shit…Shit…Shit…Ooh now this one I like
You are my #1 a guuuuuuuy—great Jack Palance impression too
Hot Rod
“Denise, you were right. The taco won.”
“It’s bouncing around the web like a beach ball at a Nickelback concert!”
“Man, I go to church every goddamn Sunday! You gonna bring the demons outta me?!”
“This is my hat now! This is toootally my hat.”
“Have fun being married to SATAN!”
“The front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly… the next day.”
“Hospital?” “Trashcan.”
“Now I don’t want to say that kiss was hot, but if the boner police are here, I demand a lawyer!”
“You look pretty.”
“What?”
“I said you look shitty! Goodnight, Denise!”
“Hey Denise, have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?”
“No.”
“Oh, you’ve gotta see it! He’s super dead.”
“When you’re goin’ on a date, you put on a shirt and you drive your bike to the daaaaate…” ♫
“Spirit of the housecat!”
“You like what you see?” [pelvic thrusts]
“There is no TOOL in this POOL.”
“Hey Rod, what’s that song about grandma getting run over by a reindeer?”
“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?”
“Nooo…”
What Film?
Why you not goin’ to work?
I got fired yesterday.
No shit? I thought you had the day off yesterday.
I did. I went in to pick up my check, came home, my supervisor called me about four o’clock, told me he got me on tape stealing boxes.
The fuck you stealing boxes for? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?
&
You better not tell anybody man.
Man, I’m not, man.
Keep it on the down low.
Alright brother. Damn.
(Looks around and yells) Hey. Smokey back here taking a shit!
Ezal!
Well, I won’t tell anybody else.
@Samantha
I literally just spent ten minutes reading all the quotes from that on IMDb.
Such a good movie.
Jack Lehtonen
“It’s too bad she won’t live. But then again, who does?”
-Blade Runner
“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”
-The Wizard of Oz
and one from Chinatown, concerning Nicholson’s cut nose, I believe it goes something like this:
“Does it hurt?”
“Only when I breath.”
-Chinatown