Just a little clam bake for the religiously non-believing conservative liberal leaning homophobe color blind midget freaks with attention deficit disorder who are allergic to peanuts and despise America because they have a speech impediment and could be considered any race or ethnic origin if viewed from a great distance with bad fashion sense and probably needs a breath mint.
Is this going to star Daniel Day-Lewis? If so, does he have to ‘lose’ something. or can he just ‘fake’ it? I will see it, in any case, as long as you get the right stars for the vehicle (not those commie ‘left’ ones). By the way, I qualify on all counts for your original post – as I am colour-blind – except peanuts are OK and both testicles still entact last time I checked. Oh, and where do I get my breath mint?
We are all merely particles in Satan’s left testicle. That’s why my friends and I play “Molecule in Satan’s Left Testicle”-Ball in the park on every other Sunday. Or at least we used to. I need to get in touch with them about starting that up again.
to paraphrase no less an american icon than ray stevens, everyone is beautiful…in their own way.
Soybean, do not ask me why, but this is by far funniest question I’ve been asked in recent times, and I think Auteurs is the right place to start looking for the culprit. You can lose nearly anything at this site—be careful! Good luck, Bobby.
Oh. dear. I must apologize again. Way too much fun this weekend. My pants are in the street in front of my house, I have no freaking clue where my cell phone is and I have strange red markings on the side of my neck. WTF? and I watched Visitor Q on Sunday morning. It’s Miike’s fault.
Have you tried the lost and found? Occasionally, body parts end up in there.
Check in all your pant pockets, that’s where it turns out I lost mine.
I don’t get it.
Is this a WW2 movie about Hitler? The world needs more WW2 movies.
Soybean, we need to keep this thread going, but I’m not as funny as you are—Guy Ritchie could probably build a movie with Gerard Butler around your line liner—by the way this is a great site to have your balls checked. Who knows where this thread will go?-Probably a lot of hurt feelings before this one dies! Thanks for the twisted humor, Bobby.
>>to paraphrase no less an american icon than ray stevens, everyone is beautiful…in their own way<<
Did it escape your attention that Charles was blind?
Well, I’m married, so mine are kept in a little pine box shaped like a coffin. I have to put em there when I leave the house.
When I was young my teachers told me I was too hyper and needed to be put on ritalin. My dad got really mad and said, “He’s six! He’s suppose to be full of energy!” They threatened to expell from the school me if I wasn’t put on the medication, but that was bullshit. My dad just popped me on the head when we got home and told me to, “calm down in class,” and there wasn’t another problem. Looking back… I think I should’ve gotten the medicine, but I have no idea why I wrote that.
As for testicles… much like Josh women have taken them from my possession and made them completely their own. I’m not married, though. My friend just spent $700 at a strip club, and now has to get a job, and won’t be going to summer classes to finish up his bachelor’s degree. He has another entire semester ahead of him… talk about being lead by the balls. I have no idea why I wrote that, either… both of those stories are true.
Thanks for bringing this thread back to the surface. I was perfectly content watching it slowly drift into obscurity but nooooo you had to go and bring it back to life and drag out my humiliation. Ok, I was at a union rally all day saturday afternoon and consumed more beer than any one man should be allowed to and if I were smart (apparently not) I would have just crawled into bed as soon as I got home. This did not happen. Saturday turned into Sunday and so on and so forth and tonight I have to play in a bloody softball game and I feel like death.
I did however find my cell phone in a shrub.
Well, your insanity seems justified then, Soybean. I’m completely sober and I wrote that.
As it were, I have an exceedingly similar story about being too hyper in the 2nd grade (age 8) to which my parents were called in to speak with the Principal of this private catholic elementary school where there were 20-or-less kids per grade & half of them were already hopped-up on Ritalin, or some other creativity deafening drug.
Long story shortening, my Dad said the same thing your Dad said: “He’s 8! He’s supposed to be full of energy!” & my Mom chimed in with: “He sits at home & draws for two hours straight. He doesn’t need drugs to focus. You’re not going to pump my son full of dope just because your teachers aren’t qualified enough to make class interesting.”
i love recounting my parents memories of my childhood.
You’re story is my story NEH. Parents pretty much tell the same things to their children, don’t they? My mom had a great distrust of prescription drugs after that incident.
It reminds me of a friend I lost because of prescription drugs. I’m not sure if I should write another story nobody wants to read, though.
Lance Armstrong made off with it on his bicycle.
It’s in your mouth. You think it is a foreign delicacy and decide to eat it.
In five hours, it will not agree with your stomach and you will proceed to vomit it out into your neighbor’s purple lily bush.