I just want my dvds back, that’s all. I don’t have children and it’s not like my prospects on the horizon are likely to yield children ;( but I would like my dvds back.
I’d take movies over kids any day.
I’d still like the opportunity to make babies.
To practice, yes. To make babies, not yet, thank you.
Women are scared of my apartment.
I loan DVD’s, and I don’t care if I ever get them back? Why? Well, since I live in a consumer-driven society, I can just buy the movie back or rent it from netflix. And besides, we’re moving towards a system of digitally downloading just about everything, so I figure that most of my DVD’s will be obsolete by the end of the decade anyway.
JF — this sounds exactly like the time you told me you still hadn’t watching my import of the uncut version of Battle Royale because of your “deviated scrotum.”
I BELIEVED YOU!!!
MY SCROTUM WAS DEVIATED JERKBRAIN!
Thanks for posting this on a PUBLIC forum!!!!!
People tend not to give them back to the person who does the lending. Geez. I hate that. Murphy’s law. They either break it or lose it or some stupid shit happens to the films. Gosh!
I am a tad OCD about my discs, but I do lend some to selected people if they ask to borrow them. I would gladly lend them a copy rather than the originals, if I have one handy. I have never lent a Criterion disc, but I don’t have that many.
I have had one movie that I lent returned after about 3 years – that was gratifying. I also lent my set of the first series of Six Feet Under – I got that back after about 2 years. It had a few marks on the discs, but the cardboard packaging was only slightly compromised.
It’s the same with books. I just try to avoid lending them out. I had a first edition one book that I really love snatched by a person I used to share a house with. They read it fairly quickly and then it came back with grease spots on the covers and inside pages. My former wife lent my used hardcover copy of Thomas Berger’s “Little Big Man” to various people in her extended family, and it came back with the dustjacket all crumpled and the binding loose (one reason why she’s my ex-wife…;>)
You live, you learn – not to lend DVDs (or books).
I’m like Drew—I loan to everybody. The great beauty of a library is that it is a resource for spreading the love, not a spouse that I don’t want violated. But I keep vigilant lists about who has what, and if necessary I’m not afraid to get adamant about the return.
One thing I learned is that most people are careless and the case will probably come back damaged. (I’ll never forgive the person who destroyed the artwork to my copy of THE CIRCLE.) My solution? I bought 15-20 generic black plastic cases and called them “traveling cases.” Loaned DVDs leave the house only in a “traveling case.” The original case and artwork never leave the shelf. Works pretty well, actually.
Semi-related side note: For parents, the extensive use and abuse of discs by their children is horrifying. To protect our purchased discs, I downloaded one of those DVD-backup software programs. When we buy a kids’ flick, I make a backup and that’s what the kids get to use. When it finally succumbs to scratches and filth, I just make another backup. All the backups are kept in a CD book near the TV; all the originals are safe in the library.
Lending them out…..
I can think of 2-3 colleagues who work in broadcast like myself, to whom I would entrust a disc and feel safe about it, but that’s it.
Regular ‘civilians’ are welcome to watch at my place, or if I bring a movie, to see it with me at their place. But they ain’t keeping it. People unfortunately treat DVDs the way they used to treat cassette tapes: badly.
It’s hard enough getting books back. Although very recently, I received, in the mail, a volume I had lent to an old friend 15 years ago. With the dust jacket still on it. Maybe there is hope…..;-)
I pretty much have no problem with it, I keep pretty good track of who I lend to and what, the only one I regret lending is the VHS of Last Temptation of Christ which never got returned.
Funny to stumble across this topic.. I’m currently freaking out because I let a friend borrow a couple DVD’s several weeks ago and haven’t gotten them back yet.. I don’t think she’s even watched them yet (and doesn’t really care about them in the first place), but I’m thinking about asking to have them returned even if she hasn’t watched them..
This is a pet peeve of mine, and I think I just decided I will no longer let people borrow films. It just creates too much anxiety! And I HATE when I let someone borrow something and it’s not returned in the same condition. All of my stuff is in mint condition (unless I bought it used), and I want it to stay that way! I know I’m a freak, but I’m allowed to be.. :)
P.S. Still not over having to re-buy a couple Godard (Criterion) films that I lent out to friends years ago..
your borrowed films have been sold on ebay
Amanda — learn from experience.
If people want to borrow from your collection, tell them you’ll sit down and watch the film with them at your place at a time convenient for you both; otherwise they can rent the film themselves. I make exceptions to this rule but I almost always regret it if I do.
L2S: probably.. :)
Cineaste: Those are good ideas.. I love playing films for people when they’re over, but I’m definitely done with letting people borrow stuff. It’s just not worth it.. I think I’ll refer to Netflix or the library next time..
i have a whole different reasons to this. my highest concern isnt the dvd itself, more because i dont trust they can watch and appreciate it the way i do if they dont watch it with me. im annoyying in that department i know but i always find them loving the movies more if im there, watching it with them. (they ask an awful lot of questions sometimes)
but that’s not neccessarily the case either. sometimes i just dont like it because it will cause them to rely heavily on me to introduce new stuffs and it makes me tired because its sort of a one way relationship. i need to talk about the movies i watch and they’re just not giving me any great input. i know i should probably embrace the “spread the love” attitude, but i just cant with my friends. i’d rather be stingy than having them copy away my dvd and give it to other friends without giving me any credit. im pathetic i know.
Not the top favourite films, or the most precious DVDs perhaps – there I would feel a bit uneasy; but mostly I’m fine.. In the end, it’s just a film; you can buy a new one (in worst case)! And I trust my friends in that way; that they would replace it or pay if they damaged a film or anything. Of course it’s harder if it’s a rare copy.. There are some VHSs that I’ve taped from TV of rare unreleased films, where I only have that very copy (and where I know there are extremely few copies around) where I would feel very reluctant, lol,. But in the end it IS just a film (!) (I know some people will probably crucify me know, haha), and even if it’s unreplaceable, I know that it would have been an accident if something happened, and that none of my friends or anyone would have broken it deliberately, so I wouldn’t be angry or anything.. It would hurt; yes (especially if it was a favourite of mine), but I would get over it, lol
I used to never lend DVDs, but over time I’ve lightened my grasp. Part of it was the simple fact that I realized that 700 movies were just sitting in that shelf, and I certainly wasn’t watching them fast enough (too many new movies, too many rentals, too many new DVDs bought used for $3 from work sitting and waiting to be seen for the first time). I figured when I started my DVD collection, “I want to create a library/reference resource for movies I like.” I figured when I started lending my DVDs, “It is time for people to start using my library/reference resource so that it doesn’t just sit there gathering dust.”
Now, my movies are all currently with my friend and former roommate back home. She has full access to them and may do what she will— but, I did tell her that she’s not allowed to lend them out to anybody, which she told me was quite clear. In this case, I would let her lend out her movies except that her friends have consistently and widely damaged/lost/stolen/or sold her own movies. Thus, I don’t want my DVDs near them. My friends really are a case-by-case basis. Most of them prefer just to invite me with a DVD when they get whimsical and want to watch one of my “weird” treats. Works for me—I get to socialize and hang out with people I love, AND get to return to a old friend of a movie! One other reason why I just don’t understand all of the “I WATCH MOVIES ALONE LIKE THEY SHOULD BE.” answers in the “Do You Prefer to Watch Movies Alone or with Friends?” thread.
About books: I actually give books I purchase away almost immediately after I am done reading them. A friend of mine has bought A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius some five or six times and it’s precisely because anytime someone asks to borrow it from him, he just says, “Here, I’ll give you my copy, keep it,” and buys himself a new one. Strange, but effective—practically everyone he knows* has read his favorite book as a result and, owning their own copies, have either passed them on or returned to them for reference when discussing it. Thus it is one of the most well-known books in my immediate peer group.
*No, I am not saying he knows only five or six people. I am saying people he’s given the book to have lent it then to other people he knows or passed it on, and he’s created an almost mini-network of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius trading wherever he’s gone.
I need to get going with the whole “burn copies and give them away” deal. That’s a fantastic idea.
I actually wouldn’t mind lending out films in my collection if I could only find people who are really curious about film and eager to see the things I have. Sadly, I don’t know many people like that. I used to lend DVDs to interns here because I considered it part of their education and I always made it clear—bring it back in a week and I’ll lend you another one. No return on time, no more DVDs. And I only lend out things I’ve already seen, things I have duplicates of, or things I can afford to lose.
There are a lot of young co-workers here whom I would love to lend old movies to. But they’d never watch them. They’re too obsessed with seeing current TV shows on Hulu.com or something or whatever “viral” video is currently “infecting” the web. Would it hurt these guys to watch a western once in a while? Or a black-and-white classic?
I have rules for my DVD loans:
1) I only lend to people I know VERY WELL
2) Never OOP
3) No box sets
4) No borrowing to girlfriends. Make her watch it at your place. (I had to rebuy a couple after a break up and
you never know when you’re gonna break up)
Books, however, I lend out like crazy and have had innumerable volumes unreturned. Like Polaris’ friend with “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius,” I’ve bought 4 or 5 copies of Mark Danielewski’s “House of Leaves.” I want everyone to read it.
I am always lending films out and I have lost loads in the process which is of course annoying but I really love turning people onto great cinema – I wish people helped me get into film that way, I’d feel a hypocrite if I didn’t help others out. I so wish for a decently funded and stocked public dvd library – luckily I have just gained access to the local uni film library with my new job :D just watched Tarkovsky’s Nostalgia tonight (which I couldn’t find a dvd to buy anywhere!) awesome stuff.
The only Criterion I’ll loan youis [insert hackneyed Michael Bay joke here] . . .
I lend out movies (because i enjoy exposing good things to good people) to STRICTLY close friends, with my full name written across the front cover. ;)
" I’ve bought 4 or 5 copies of Mark Danielewski’s “House of Leaves.” I want everyone to read it."
I haven’t gotten that far with that book, but I have gotten four or five different people to buy it at Hastings. I also have bought three copies of Gravity’s Rainbow, one for myself, one for a friend, and one for myself over here which will go to whomever wants it once I’m leaving.