“Is it exploitative to have a naked child in your movie.”
No.
Except in America, where Falwell rules and Valenti is God.
I feel this movie touches a lot of issues that are often swept under a rug. First the issue of mental disorders, I can’t tell you how many people fail to understand others who have this debilitating disease. This movie will make audiences uncomfortable because it begs the question “what is normal?” We are forced to align ourselves with this dysfunctional family and ask questions about our own lives. Most of us, I’m sure, aren’t like this family; however, doesn’t dismiss our own dysfunctions.
I agree, the most heart wrenching scene was when she asked her father to stand up for her. She looked and sounded crazy but her thoughts made a lot of sense. It’s just that we, as the viewer, and the characters in her family couldn’t get past her off-ness so we dismiss her ideas as nonsense.
I feel all this woman wanted, was to not have to put any false pretenses about who she truly was inside. All her life, she has been raised to please others and she snapped. Many people raised that way are often hit with panic attacks overnight because they try to do so much for others and are embarrassed when they FEEL like they fell short. That’s another societal issue, Cassavetes touched on. I think this movie is remarkable in bringing forth what happens in some homes. We all have the dream of normalcy, but what kind of disservice is it to us when we force ourselves into a hole we’re not shaped to be in? I’m rambling. Sorry for the long post, but I like this movie for what it is.
I watched it again last night, and I could find one thing that brings the two together – their care for their kids. Although Nick doesn’t relate to them on as personal a level as Mabel, it seems like they both care for their kids more than anything else. A really touching moment that I had missed on first viewing was after the kids keep running downstairs to Mabel and Nick says “they just want to know you’re okay.” After that, the fighting stops, they tuck the kids in and there’s one more touching moment when Nick washes Mabel’s cut. However, this scene was kind of undercut when Mabel says “Do you love me?” and Nick only repeats “I, uh…” a few times. Why doesn’t or can’t he tell her he loves her? Does he not love her anymore, or is their relationship beyond words or something? I don’t really have any answer for that. What do you guys think?
“First the issue of mental disorders, I can’t tell you how many people fail to understand others who have this debilitating disease. This movie will make audiences uncomfortable because it begs the question “what is normal?””
I agree with the second part of this part of your post to some extent. Mabel doesn’t have a mental disorder, our society does when it concludes that any abnormal behavior constitutes a “disorder.”
Nate wrote :
I watched it again last night, and I could find one thing that brings the two together – their care for their kids. Although Nick doesn’t relate to them on as personal a level as Mabel, it seems like they both care for their kids more than anything else. A really touching moment that I had missed on first viewing was after the kids keep running downstairs to Mabel and Nick says “they just want to know you’re okay.” After that, the fighting stops, they tuck the kids in and there’s one more touching moment when Nick washes Mabel’s cut. However, this scene was kind of undercut when Mabel says “Do you love me?” and Nick only repeats “I, uh…” a few times. Why doesn’t or can’t he tell her he loves her? Does he not love her anymore, or is their relationship beyond words or something? I don’t really have any answer for that. What do you guys think?
I just watched the movie now and was completely devastated by Gene Rowlands’ performance. I have an aunt who is very similar to her and her portrayal almost brought tears to my eyes.
And Nate’s question is something that came to me too. It was a very interesting scene I thought. It would have been really easy to close that scene with a “Yeah, I do” and have a pan out shot of the both of them near the wash basin (cue music. P.S.: I’ll make a very bad movie maker), but his inability to bring himself to say those words. Why? Was it the weight of the events that just took place? Did having his kids challenge him, physically and mentally, affect him so much to astonish him beyond words. I don’t think Cassavetes meant “the relationship to be beyond words”. Or maybe Nick just didn’t want her to get really emotional again on hearing those words. I don’t really know.
I want to think this is an optimistic movie and something that Peter Falk said in the interview in the DVD gave me a lot of hope. The phone ringing and him not picking it up, probably knowing really well that it was his mom, was something that gave me a lot of hope. Friends and relatives screw relationships.
Amazing amazing movie.
lol – I literally JUST watched that interview and got online specifically to check this thread! I mean, I guess it could be any reason – his inability to say “I love you” and the fact that they ignore the phone can be both very optimistic or very pessimistic, but incredibly compelling. I can’t even describe how amazing I think this movie is.
ONly two threads on all of Mubi about this film?
I just watched this film last night. This is my second Cassavetes. I bought the box set and was going to watch them all in order, but after watching the pretentious piece of shit that is “Shadows”, a few months ago, I nearly gave up on Cassavetes. So I saw his name mentioned a few times on here, and thought to check out another film of his, went to IMDB to see which was the highest rated film, and figured what the hell.
First let me say that this film is really about a bunch of people who should NEVER have reproduced. Nick is a fool, and a terrible father, Mabel is crazy, her parents are completely distant and clueless, and Nick’s mom is evil and a different kind of crazy bitch.
Now on to the film. Brilliant. The best scripts ever as far as dialogue and exploring personal relationships, not to mention nutcases. Tremendous acting by all, especially the two leads.
As to the OP’s point, I do think that Nick loves her, but like others have said, in a normal; relationship I don’t think that he would no how to express it, and he clearly doesn’t have the tools to handle Mabel; and as there was probably evidence of her mental instability before they got married, he lacked the tools or foresight to avoid reproducing with this woman.
He barely knows how to control himself, and his indecisiveness leads him to violence, which appears to be the only way that he understands how to deal with something; though it does not help that his mother is a menace, and he clearly learned his way of dealing with things from her.
I don’t know what I can add to this discussion. I don’t understand the people who said that they couldn’t make it through the spaghetti dinner-that was in the beginning of the film, as I was captivated throughout the entire film, awed by Rowland’s performance, curious as to where she would lead me next. She nearly completely overshadows Faulk, who himself was a force of nature in this film.
Grey
^
You’re not alone in your observations on Nick. I loved the spaghetti scene though. Thought it was beautiful.