Take a (band)stand.
Why turn Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt? That is a nonsensical punishment bro.
Sodom figured out that dick+hole=smile and God was pissed that he didn’t think of it first.
I don’t believe in (fill in the blank.)
Money is a strange concept. The first guy to come up with money must’ve fought an uphill battle to get people to use it.
You ever want to see Swedes have sex? Click the link on the right.
Shady pizza math.
I bought a decent slice of pizza on 42nd street for $5.
I bought a decent slice of pizza on 137th street for $2.50.
This means that each block north of 42nd street a decent slice of pizza costs about 2 1/2 cents less.
By these calculations a decent slice of pizza on 237th street is free and there are certain areas in the north bronx that will pay you to eat a slice.
“Don’t Fred on Me” would be a great attack ad on a guy named Fred who was running for office.
Does Jesus say “Dad damn it!”?
I decided to put the question mark outside the quotation marks on that sentence. Do you think that’s the right call in this situation?