Meaningless Thread (Absmurdity)
my armpit sweat is bright purple, should i go to the dentist?
my socks are bleeding
PRINCE: “How edible is this planet?”
MASK: “Almost as edible as styrofoam.”
TREE: “I gotta take a piss.”
the number 24
= the number of holes in my esophagus plus the number of holes in my brain.
That’s a lot of holes.
It happens.
l’orifices.
my bread melted.
my review for Vagabond is simply awesome.
ROFL
ruffled sounds…
who moved my Pegasus?
i bet it was that meddling Equus…
i just sneezed my pants off,
…but how?
Fucking ants man! Where they coming from?
Leiningen, you better get some gasoline.
She looked up from examining the freckles on her and shouted, “Jesus! I’m fucking god-damn tired of all this make-up sex!” and he just stared off.
…And then she look’d down and saw miniature houses and miniature people and inside the miniature people were miniature hearts pumping blood through miniature veins (her mouth was watery and wet).
But _ Why _ Must
Her _ Face _ Fall
Flat _ And _ Show
The _ Line _ That
Will _ Fail _ To
Sew _ The _ Good
Rot _ And _ The
Big _ Pot _ Of
Tic _ Snot _ In
Ba * By * Lon
? ? ?
I believe it was because she was touched by God… inappropiately. He said to her “One always looks neat in hat made of meat.” Then He screamed, “Get outta here Hitler!!!”
No, sir, away! A papaya war is on!
i feel not smart enough to be here. or too smart.
THE FIRST ANNUAL BIANNUAL MEANINGLESS THREAD AWARDS ~ The Absmurds
I hope to return to this thread every two-years to doll out intangible awards.
.
.
The award for Sentence I Most Often Think Of & Chuckle goes to…
“Also, feral children are really interesting.”
.
.
The award for Most Depressing Sentence goes to…
“I once tried to kill myself but it didn’t take.”
.
.
The award for Overall Best Moniker goes to…
Cum Talkin’ Lady
.
.
The award for Most Vile Imagery goes to…
“That movie fucking sucked shit out of a tit.”
.
.
The award for Silliest Usage of Sight + Smell goes to…
“Bring me a sachet of ketchup and a root beer,”
.
.
The award for Best Military Coup goes to…
Emily
.
.
The award for Best Usage of Parenthesis goes to…
“(her mouth was watery and wet)”
.
.
The coveted Superfluidity Award for Redundancy goes to…
“(her mouth was watery and wet)”
.
.
The less-coveted Everybody Who Participated Award goes to…
Everybody!
.
.
& finally…
The award for Funniest Opening of Any Given Sentence goes to…
“Remember that scene in Bloodsport…?”
I never read the last page until now. Holy shit this was funny. From “purple sweat dentist” to “fucking ants” I was on the floor laughing.
No one gives a hoot about faux-ass nonsense!
Why, i give it two hoots & a record player shaped like an owl to play them on!!
Wouldn’t society be great if people started investing in faux-asses?
i mean the plastic surgery world has gone overboard with fake tits,
they need to relocate their focus…
Hooray for the Everybody Award! I won it! Get away from my award! Pineapple!
edit: Oh wait, I’m Mr. Depressing Hohahhapah Hoooo!
NE1
kissing is never illegal