So I’ve hit the final eight week or so countdown has begun before the arrival of Ari, Jr., and I’m taking advice from friends and trying to see as many films in the cinema beforehand.
But I know some of you are Mubis with kids so I have some questions/concerns.
So speaking from my own experience, it seems once friends have kids they more or less disappear, dropping out of circulation, going underground or vanishing completely for a certain number of years. And we know having kids detroys one’s sex life but does it also have to destory one’s film life too?
Can you watch a film in one uninterrupted screening? How?
Can you find time to go to the cinema? Film festivals? How? Is that guilt free?
Any other helpful hints, tips, and assurances would be greatly appreciated.
(I was torn between linking this topic to Friends With Kids or Bob Balaban’s Parents before settling on Baby Talk).
Don’t do it, Ari! Don’t do it! Take it back, return to sender, tell the wife to hold it in!
Your life is done. No more movies for you. :(
That’s not a reassurance!
Yeah, I’d get a paternity test.
I’ve seen the ultrasound. He has my nose.
I feel like these questions should be directed at Mrs. Ari.
Because she’s really going to be the one that allows any of this (theater outings, uninterrupted viewings, etc.).
Are you sure that was the nose?
I hear that New York City is going to set up a special “toddler friendly” screening of Satantango so you should look into that.
Seriously though, for the first few months you won’t hardly have the energy to sit through a whole movie, so it won’t be much of any issue. Once they start sleeping through the night it’s much easier. You should already be starting to think about a sitter, though. And depending on your floorplan and where you watch movies at home, a good pair of wireless headphones may be a good investment.
>>I hear that New York City is going to set up a special “toddler friendly” screening of Satantango<<
Hide your cat when you get home from that screening!
What Matt said.
The rest of you non-parents, silence! You can’t know what it’s like till you have them. I’m dead serious. And if you want to trade in movies for your kids, well then…. I really have nothing good to say there…
CONGRATS, ARI! Life will not be the same, but that doesn’t mean it will not be in a bad way.
Parents I know who love movies have just accepted that their screenings are broken up into multiple sittings.
Thanks, Odi! Yeah, I should have said no haters or anti-breeders allowed on the thread!
I knew Matt Parks would be the first with constructive advice. Wireless headphones sound like a good idea. That’s so you can watch films while the baby is still in the room sleeping? Yeah, I’ve heard the first few months is like a permanent case of jetlag but I thought they sleep a lot so you can try to get some other stuff done as well. But it takes a few years before they sleep through the night, right?
I think you’re right, Jirin. I just really hate splitting viewings. I’ve always been allergic to that. It seems like it might be the only way.
The baby friendly screenings are crap around here. Plus I imagine the screaming of other people’s children are still annoying even after you have one yourself.
Other advice: should I see We Need to Talk About Kevin now or wait a few years on that one?
^ also true.
Note — it’s the first 2 years that are tough. After that, it gets easier and easier.
Also, once you have the energy to go out and think that you will stay awake for 2 hours in a dark place, utilize your baby sitter.
Look at it this way… You have to give up movies, but you get to force your jaundiced and dysfunctional view of the world upon a person that doesn’t know better not to listen.
You lose something, but you gain something even more precious.
See whatever movie you want to see. It will have NOTHING whatsoever to do with your child-rearing experience, as will anything else you see, read or hear — I can guarantee that.
Nice, Wu. And… WRONG.
“And if you want to trade in movies for your kids, well then….”
Well, I traded in my first-born for a complete Criterion collection, but I felt it was a deal I couldn’t pass up.
Also, I DO NOT advise taking your kid to any movie till they’re at least 5 or older.
Ha — Volupte, nice try! ;)
Wow, what a coincidence Volupte. I traded my complete criterion collection for a baby!
If I have ever have a kid I’d put The Autobiography of Nicolae Ceausescu on an infinite loop, just so everyone knew what the score was.
Plus, I’m a better volleyball player than he was (and I feel that film’s unavailability makes that joke rather
“but you get to force your jaundiced and dysfunctional view of the world upon a person that doesn’t know better not to listen.”
Hahaha. Yeah, a friend of mine told me once that people only have kids when their frustrations at their own failings have reached the point where they want a new human life in order to invest all these misplaced regrets. In other words, my child will be a filmmaker for sure! (actually I’m not even a failed filmmaker….but close).
A long time ago, I hypothetically asked myself what I, a cinephile, would show my children as a first film. This is something that you’ll have to deal with, so heed my (untested) advice and put on 2001: A Space Odyssey when they’re old enough to stay awake for two hours. As long as the screen is big enough, they won’t be able to look away.
“Other advice: should I see We Need to Talk About Kevin now or wait a few years on that one?”
Hate to have to do this on a film forum, but people who are actual parents should read the book first.
“But it takes a few years before they sleep through the night, right?”
Eek! no, for your sake I hope not. Hopefully by nine months, probably sooner (though it will likely seem like years have passed by the time you get to this point).
My kids responded most strongly to Oskar Fischinger early on, and later took a real liking to Keaton shorts.
But it takes a few years before they sleep through the night, right?
Thank goodness that is not true for most parents. The human population would quickly cease to exist otherwise. Dude, watch how hard a few months are.
I just really hate splitting viewings. I’ve always been allergic to that. It seems like it might be the only way.
Sorry, but you’re right. And don’t forget pauses for interruptions.
Odi said, Also, I DO NOT advise taking your kid to any movie till they’re at least 5 or older.
We took our son to the theater starting after a month. That worked up to about eight months, maybe a little more, but we had to time for his naps. The thing is, a month before my son’s birth there were a lot of really loud explosions going on around my house, almost every night (long story), so I think he could sleep through loud noises.
“Wireless headphones sound like a good idea. That’s so you can watch films while the baby is still in the room sleeping?”
Or so you can drown out the walling and crying from your newborn.
The most devastating element of all this is that you will lose your good taste in movies. I’ve never met one parent who had good taste in movies.