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Mubi Parents Forum: Does Having Kids Destroy One's Film Life?

Faldera​l

about 1 year ago

“In other words, my child will be a filmmaker for sure!

You should put that on a banner and hang it on the wall in your nursery right above your framed New York Herald Tribune t-shirt.

Santino

about 1 year ago

“should I see We Need to Talk About Kevin now or wait a few years on that one?”

Since the baby is already on the way, I’m afraid you’re a bit late. I’d say Kevin is the best form of birth control out there. So unless you’re itching to give your kid up for adoption, I’d stay away from this movie for a couple years.

No-Limb Joe

about 1 year ago

@santino:

Odilonvert
Ari (soon)
Matt Parks

..to name a few who have good taste in movies.

Matt Kilgore

about 1 year ago

I watch on average, around 10 movies a week. This pace has kept up since having our son Andrew 6 months ago. It works well for us, since my wife wants to get out of the house and somone usually has to stay and watch him, so I watch movies pretty heavily nonetheless. Also, if the baby is asleep, then put them in another room with a monitor. Newborns sleep through anything so I wouldn’t worry. And actually,we have a policy of keeping him from movies entirely, kids movies, whatever for a while, because it’s probably good for attention span I would think. Yet, even if I’m watching something he can face away, I know this wont’ be the case when he crawls, but you know, you get creative. I’m a homebody, so I don’t know if I would drop off the face of the earth since I don’t get out much anyways. As far as going to movies/festivals, at first we would take him, but that has finally become less plausible. And I will admit, I watched about 2/3 of many oscar movies at the theatre, like The Descendants and the Artist, but sometimes you can work it out with my wife to go, trade off and such. I have to screen movies for a local festival too, so I actually have to watch several a week just for that no problem, even with working 60 hours a week. So my answer is that it doesn’t kill movie watching, but especially watching movies at home.

Bijoux Alexand​erplatz

about 1 year ago

I’m still enjoying the same movies at about the same pace. But my mom, as loving as she is, HATES cartoons, so I grew up watching the films my parents wanted to : John Wayne films, Astaire/Rogers musicals, Frankenstein, etc. So I don’t feel bad doing the same thing. Plus, now that my mom has a grandchild she miraculously will watch oodles of cartoons so he gets his fill.

No-Limb Joe

about 1 year ago

@santino: Add to my list…

Matt Kilgore
Bijoux Alexanderplatz (Friday the 13th, on the other hand…)

Matt Parks

about 1 year ago

Thanks, Dude.

Bijoux Alexand​erplatz

about 1 year ago

@ the dude : hahaha. Interesting fact : Friday the 13th was the first movie I watched when I got home from the hospital. And even though Jude doesn’t watch them he still can’t see a hockey mask without asking if it’s Jason’s mask.

Santino

about 1 year ago

@ Dude -

I’m not so sure they have good taste in movies.

Or maybe I’m not so sure they’re parents.

Brian Padian

about 1 year ago

we had our son 8 mos ago. not only did our cinematic intake plummet (my wife watches nearly everything with me) but the quality of films we consumed diminished considerably. the function of the films changed, from watching indie and world cinema w/ an eye on the filmmaking to watching anything (at all) with even a meager narrative spine that could hold our interest. we would grab random movies from the library and put them in the player almost without looking at what they were. (it is solely due to this tiny window of exhaustion and mania that we saw something called ‘jane austen book club’, which was like a slow motion train accident but neither of us could manage the energy to lift the remote to stop the film. really. I’m not proud of it.). I’ve been inside a movie theater three times since my son was born (twice w/ my wife, once w/ my dad).

here’s another thing that changed, not sure if it’s common to all new parents or just me: I have a profoundly difficult time watching violence now. Or movies about illness. or say movies about bad seeds like “we need to talk about kevin”. can’t do it. there’s enough peril and doom in the world to protect my son from w/o finding movies containing more. Maybe that’ll dissipate over time.

and I should qualify, even though my film loving, film watching self has been sent into hibernation, being a parent is an amazing, mind-blowing, thing. congrats Ari. it’s quite a ride.

Santino

about 1 year ago

“I have a profoundly difficult time watching violence now. Or movies about illness. or say movies about bad seeds like “we need to talk about kevin”. can’t do it”

I have heard this from friends of mine who are parents. One buddy couldn’t even watch the trailer for Beautiful Boy. That’s ok, the movie wasn’t that great.

Oh yeah, congrats Ari!

paulofi​lmo

about 1 year ago

In other words, my child will be a filmmaker for sure!

Magic Lantern.

Jirin

about 1 year ago

It is true though, a lot of the people I know who are parents, it’s not that their taste in film has gotten worse, so much as their patience to expend the mental effort needed for difficult films has diminished, and their tolerance for inanity has increased.

odilonvert

about 1 year ago

The most devastating element of all this is that you will lose your good taste in movies. I’ve never met one parent who had good taste in movies.

What nonsense, Santino. You either have good taste before you have kids, or you don’t. Having kids has nothing to do with that.

Silly Santino.

odilonvert

about 1 year ago

@Jirin — let’s see you not become a baby when you’re talking to a baby. At least once.

odilonvert

about 1 year ago

For the record, my taste has nothing to do with my womb being occupied for 8 months 2x in a row, nursing, or changing diapers.

Stupid nonsense.

Are you trying to irritate me just for fun?

My kids like what they like, I like what I like, and sometimes the two coincide. Period. End of story.

Santino

about 1 year ago

So does that mean if you have bad taste in movies, you’re more likely to have kids?

I think I can get behind that.

Santino

about 1 year ago

lol

Matt Parks

about 1 year ago

Yeah, if anything I’m more into my own stuff now, even if I have a little less time to devote to it.

Bijoux Alexand​erplatz

about 1 year ago

I dunno, Santino. My boyfriend never had kids and his favorite movie is almost anything with Arnold. Schwarzenegger or Sly Stallone. LOL.

Santino

about 1 year ago

LOL. Your boyfriend has good taste!

Bijoux Alexand​erplatz

about 1 year ago

Hahaha. Then I admit to defeat, Santino! !

Santino

about 1 year ago

hehe. Well you don’t want to say he has bad taste! He’s with you, right?!

Bijoux Alexand​erplatz

about 1 year ago

Bad taste in film. Impeccable in everything else!!

Polaris​DiB

about 1 year ago

“let’s see you not become a baby when you’re talking to a baby. At least once.”

Timely.

—PolarisDiB

Bijoux Alexand​erplatz

about 1 year ago

Oh, polaris, I knew some of this conversation reminded me of something. I just read that cracked piece..

Santino

about 1 year ago

lol @ Bijoux

Meg ͏

about 1 year ago

I have a profoundly difficult time watching violence now.

yeah it’s amazing how parenthood changes perspective! suddenly you start thinking about the totally uncool “c” word

congratulations Ari – enjoy your time until the little blighter gets mobile, that’s when things really go downhill :)

Jazzalo​ha

about 1 year ago

Dude said:

Odilonvert
Ari (soon)
Matt Parks

..to name a few who have good taste in movies.

(whistles while looking up). Dang, it’s kinda cold in here. ;)

Brian said, here’s another thing that changed, not sure if it’s common to all new parents or just me: I have a profoundly difficult time watching violence now.

That hasn’t been the case for me, but films involving children—especially those in peril—are exponentially more intense and poignant—to the ponit of being unbearable at times.

Odi said, Silly Santino.

You’re too nice. I was wanting someone to smack him or throw a pie at him at least. (You live in L.A. so if you see him, throw one right in the kisser for me.)

@Ari

First off, congratulations are in order. Second, a few pieces of advice:

1. If I could go back in time, I think I would have tried to see as many long (over two hour) films as I possibly could. By the time I get home, help with the kids, clean up, etc., I’m often ready to hit the hay. Maybe I have a good hour of attention and energy, so a two hour film isn’t going to cut it.

2. Additionally, I gravitate more towards films that will be fairly easy to watch and appreciate. Therefore, I’d consider getting your fill of more complex and/or slow films (unless you find these films effortless to watch).

3. Because of this, I might consider saving some of the shorter, engaging films for later. For example, if you haven’t seen many Val Lewton pictures, I’d save those for later (many under 90 minutes) and both interesting and easy to watch.

Btw, my kids are at the pre-school age, and I find watching dvds at home a bit harder for some reason. I think this is partly because the interactions are more involved and rewarding—and I partly choose to spend my time this way. But that leaves a short window for film viewing, unfortunately. (Until this weekend, I haven’t watched a dvd for about two weeks—and that feels like ages.)

Here are some other thoughts:

1. I suspect your film viewing will greatly depend on the type of help you’ll get outside of you and your SO. There’s a huge difference between having help from a relative living with you versus being completely on your own without any relatives to babysit. If you have a lot of help—or if your SO just LOVES doing everything on her own (don’t count on it)—then your movie viewing may not be adversely affected, at least not so much. But that leads to my next point….

2. How many films do you watch in a week? And how much do you value this? If you’re watching one film a day, having a baby is probably going to interfere with that. But if you’re watching 2-3 films a week, you probably could get by with that. And if movie watching isn’t something you’re almost addicted to, then I don’t think reducing the amount of films per week will be such a big deal (but that’s stating the obvious, I guess).

Santino

about 1 year ago

mmmmm, pie….