Pitch me the worst idea for a movie you can think of

@Robert Hamilton: If that happened, I might have to shoot myself.

Au Hazard Balthazar II – Kicking Ass!

The son of Balthazar gets revenge on the humans who tormented his father. Sort of a donkey-oriented “Oldboy”. Unrated version includes tasteful beastiality love scene….

The Care Bears Movie 2

-Written by Aaron Sorkin

Pitch A) A woman has a comedic misunderstanding or miscommunication that troubles her romantic relationship. At the same time, she meets another man. She then has to persevere and make a decision on which man to choose.

Pitch B) A group of men have to take down a bad guy. The men have different personality traits that grate on each other, but they persevere and work as a team to carry through the adventure and achieve their goal.

About Last Night?

Leonard Shelby wakes up beside Lucy Whitmore, hilarity ensues and then a murder.

About Last Night…

A retelling of the Manson murders, in the style of a romantic comedy.

Worst idea for a movie? Off the top of my head…

A lame cinephile type, with nothing else to do, posts a question on an AUTEURist Web site, hoping to gather some like-minded people into wasting their time too.

His thread is “Pitch Me the Worst Idea for a Movie You Can Think Of…” Dozens of other film nerds respond with inane and/or mildly amusing titles, log lines, and premises, including a wily cinema professor, who criticizes the entire effort from his ivory tower.

It’s an Internet remake of GOODBYE, MR. CHIPS.

What happens when a kid from Korea meets a racist from Iowa?

Find out in the Korean and the KKK!

@Frank P.

I want to know who is going to play the wily cinema professor. My money’s on Cheech Marin.

Danny Rose: I had Warren Beatty (in his prime) in mind to play me. Maybe in his MacCABE AND MRS. MILLER period, when he had a well-trimmed beard like mine. He looks more like me than Cheech Marin does. :-)

this is how I see it.

Danny: ^ A great picture and the “blunt” looks remarkably like the oversized one in UP IN SMOKE.

I got a horrible idea: a movie about the founders of Facebook. What could be worse?

The Godfather Part IV. Starring Danny DeVito and Harry Connick Jr.

Here we go: “A guy learns a secret.” There. Genius.

I can’t think of a worse idea than Human Centipede.

I suppose they could have a snuff film where they kidnap people off the street and throw them into ceptic tanks, and film them trying to escape, then drowning. That would be slightly worse.

Tom Green plays Frank P.

End of story.

I can live with this guy Tom Green playing moi. Yes!

I’m sorry that I’m not able to download my picture onto this site. It’s on my MUBI (ugh!) Profile, if anyone’s interested.

I always thought you looked alike.

Anyway, he’s responsible for Freddy got Fingered.

I thought they said worst ideas Brady.

Oh, I knew people would like The Korean and the KKK!

I’mma go make it now. Thanks, Stephen.

All right, stay with me here.

After the buzz that “Carlos” generated, Olivier Assayas needs to “up the ante” and to capitalize on the fact that the Sundance crowd now knows his name. He doesn’t need a new idea, per se; he just needs a Sonic Youth-fuelled mash-up of his previous films.

This is gonna’ be a 14-hour film—Assayas needs to beat Rivette’s “Out 1”—about a leather catsuit-wearing French nana (87, but smokin’) who lives on a verdant estate, from which she orchestrates terrorist bombings and peddles prostitutes to internet-abusing corporate types. On the side, she amasses the world’s loveliest assortment of splotchy abstract art. Upon her death, mayhem ensues! The studly bearded guys battle the spiky bustier crowd for control of nana’s international operations. And a bespectacled guy in a sweater vest sneaks the art collection into a rented Peugeot mini-van.

And that’s just the first hour!

Alright, here’s my idea for a film. In it, a woman cries, for over an hour, with lots of close-ups, and tears. It’s mostly an experiment for film form and I like to think it’s spiritual. It’s called The Passion of Joan of Arc.

Napoleon Dynamite as Santa Claus
Divine as Mrs. Claus

guest appearance by Tim Allen

directed by John Waters for Disney

A musical remake of Caligula directed by Mel Gibson

I don’t know but it would be brought to you by the same “creative” team that gave us SAW 1-7.

A movie about a boy and an old projectionist who bond over their love for a small town theatre in Italy.

Movies about people going out,dating. We’ll call them “Romantic Comedies”.

One word. Trannyclaus.

that is totally troma!