Pitch me the worst idea for a movie you can think of
How about a movie starring a pencil-thin actress, who’s never eaten anything in her life other than an ice cube or lettuce leaf (by her own admission), does a film about a woman who eats her way around the world?
Oh wait.
However bad your idea is, can it really be worse than this?
“Nice beaver”.
I can’t take full credit for either, but here we go:
American remake of Pan’s Labyrinth where Bruce Willis stars as the captain and Sandra Bullock in the Maribel Verdu role. At the last minute, Bullock shows Willis the error in his ways, and he falls in love with her. Oh yeah, the faun is replaced by a penguin.
American remake of ‘Lives of Others’: set in slavery times. The head of the plantation feels that his slaves are planning an escape, so he hires his most vicious overseer to spy on them. At first, he takes this just as any other job, but upon hearing the slaves field songs, he suddenly sees humanity in them and feels bad for what he’s doing
… of course the latter would be applauded as a testament to the human spirit and inert good in us all (very similar to the response its source material had). Would probably win multiple Oscars
OK I want to remake Silence of the lambs on ice , the film will be the same but on a ice rink with the actors skating around , while a live audience watches.
.
Once upon a time I proposed an ice skating kung fu movie starring Michelle Kwan, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding.
A film about 9/11 starring Jack Black and directed by none other than Michael Bay. Jack Black will play as the valiant fire chief officer who sacrifices his life in the courageous rescue of dozens of people.
Also, a Tyler Perry remake of any Ozu film.
DIE HARD IN A LAUNDROMAT
This movie is a thriller about a serial killer who only kills twin sisters. No one can catch him because he’s such an awesomely good serial killer, and he kills loads of them. But the movie’s not actually about him and he’s just a flat character, who has no feelings or whatever. It’s actually about the forensic cop, who’s a chick who had a twin sister when she was young, but who died when they were young by falling off of a cliff or something. Anyway, the forensics cop gets personally involved in the case because the killer kills a pair of twins and one of them is pregnant, with twins. And so, the cop chick gets involved and she’s super awesome and almost catches the killer, but he gets away and starts setting up challenges to personally taunt the cop chick. But then, at the last minute she gets the upper hand because she receives a tip via a visit from her dead twin sister, who knows all about where the killer has the next victims stashed. So she goes there and ends up in a fist fight with the killer, complete with “Oh, no you di’n’t!”s and totally kicks his ass. Then she gets a medal for bravery from the president and her dead sister shows up in the crowd and winks at her.
How’s that?
ahahahahaha /\ GREAT
Star Trek: Voyager To The Past
A Voyager/Enterprise crossover. A ship in the 30th century (Where any three year old child knows how to build a time machine) comes back to take Voyager back to the 22nd century because Seven Of Nine is the key to curing the virus planted there by the Borg from the 26th century.
Anyway, at the end the entire timeline gets reset, except that in this timeline, the Borg realize the value of individuality, and that resistance is in fact, not futile.
Capt Piccard-To baldly go where no one has gone before!
Mel Gibson starring in a re make of a British 80s spy miniseries… Ooops!
“Let’s make Mod Squad into a movie!” Ooops…
Three words: GASPAR NOE’S CASABLANCA
shot for shot Remake of Top gun with all the original cast, anyone who has died since the original is replaced with a cgi
I have several propositions!
1. A film about Wikileaks and Julian Assange, and we HAVE to call it Leak
2. This one is about a snowed in LaGuardia Airport. After Christmas, a large group of people have their flights canceled. So they sit around for days. So they make the most of it all.
3. A follow-up to my previous Becky’s Chair, Don’t Touch!. this time, this is, Susan’s Piano
-Two buddies are walking in Laconia, New Hampshire. On their paths, they see a piano lying on it’s side near an evil looking clinic. They recognize it as their best friend Susan’s piano. So they make a journey to get the piano home, before it’s too late. With appearances by Quentin Tarantino as a video store clerk. With narration by Maurice LaMarche as Orson Welles and Werner Herzog. Including a guest star……
A movie about a bunch of whiny movie enthusiasts who regularly post to misnomer internet threads like “What Was Your Favourite Criterion Before It Was a Criterion?”
An allegory for the American Revolution played out in a sci-fi setting.
A movie about a pencil that never gets sharpened. Starring Andy Milonakis as the pencil. In 3-D.
“Watching paint dry” a musical
James Cameron’s “GREEN SCREEN!” uncut and unedited
“manslaughter defense and you” For kids
“Corporate Babies: Baby Geniuses 3” Workin’ for da mon
“Adults: Baby Geniuses 4” Same as the other movies but with lots more sex and violence.
Michael Bay’s “Army of Shadows” a remake in IMAX 3D
Starring Steven Seagal and Megan Fox
blaxploitation comedy about a rastafarian who gets on the wrong plane and ends up in the north pole
directed by Tim Burton
Well sometimes when I am bored at work i try to think of the worst movie combinations ever,although reading through these posts though…i’ve seen some that put my ideas to shame haha! but here is mine:
It’s called Ghost Cop (or something like that.) starring Brendan Frasier and Chris Tucker. Basically it’s a buddy picture between a dead white cop who was killed by drug dealers, and the Chris Tucker character who takes his place. Of course the Chris Tucker character is a young transfer cop from Detroit, often considered an “upstart”. Brendan is shot trying to save a child for some reason, and comes back as a ghost to try to solve th case! Let’s say the drug dealer is still bad and still trying to kill this child, who is a witness to something I am sure. Somehow the Chris tucker character can see dead Brendan F ghost, and they work together to solve the case, save the child,sand make exaggerated faces together ect.. terrible elements i feel this movie should include:1.) Late nineties “rush hour”-esque buddy cop humor and cheese plots.
2.) Soundtrack by self indulgent hip hop star, someone very popular this six months but next year will be obsolete, so that the sounds track cannot even have any redeeming value.
3.) I feel there could possibly be an ape somewhere in this film…for no real reason…and the ape could possibly team up with the two cops, for a short time during the film.
4.) this movie would basically be a mash-up of every tired cop/buddy film/ action flick
5.) Brendan Frasier basked in light as he looks up slowly to dramatic music..because he has…“discovered a vital clue”
6.) Racial stereotypes
7.) Could this be a Tyler Perry movie?
8.) The two cops overcome adversity because the white ghost saves the others life…possibly afterwards and outdated slang word exchanged and a high five that defies the laws of life and death after this scene.
9.) An ending where the child and ape hug Brendan Frasier goodbye after he solves the case, because now of course he must truly die and go to heaven. The child cries, Chris tucker character tries not to get emotional and covers it up with wacky sounds..Ape makes farting noise with mouth…Branden Frasier waves goooooddddbyyyee…from the light that carries him off to heaven.
10.) Under-developed love plot, even though romance doesn’t need nor fit the story…“something for wives and girlfriends…but we won’t try too hard”
11.) gross out humor of all kinds.
well that’s my vision of the worst movie ever.
Jirin
Just take all of Pauly Shore’s movies and remake them with Jack Black. The entire time he’s making that look where he raises one eyebrow and looks confused.