A quick three minute short I shot, edited, and directed for class. Would love your opinion.
For a quick project some of the effects work out pretty nicely. My main comment is just that I have no idea what happened. It seems as though he’s stuck in some place where he goes out one end and comes in the other. Then suddenly there are just two of him, one of them walks towards the exit (there also appears to be a continuity error; one of them walks towards the exit sign, it cuts to the other, then when it cuts back he’s only just turning the corner to walk towards the exit sign), then the other tackles him and it ends.
My other comments would be to watch the head room at the beginning when he’s sitting on the bench (also, putting a girl’s boobs right next to his head is a little visually distracting). A couple of the cuts are a little jarring (1:33, 1:44, 2:18; 2:21 crosses the line).
Thanks for the input.
The main point was the character was stuck in a loop, that just so happens to be the hallway.
On the continuity error: After the double walks toward the exit sign he turns the corner, the main character then runs after him. The double now becomes tramped in the loop. I should’ve showed the main character turn the corner which is why the cut looks weird and it looks like the double has just turned the corner for the first time.
Sorry if that sounds confusing.
i agree with your comments on the jarring cuts. Those were the main continuity errors. i hadn’t even noticed I crossed the line.
Thanks for watching.
I’ll leave it to the many filmmakers on this site to critique the technical aspects. I’ll say that you only took four minutes of my time and I was engaged for four minutes. You clearly understand Youtube attention spans. The music was catchy and it was entertaining so I watched it again. Good job.
It worked well, nice effects, the crossing the line just bugs me once, the picking up the phone, the others are okay be it’s disorienting anyway.
For a steadier moving shot, you can build a simple Pogo, plate on top, about a 1.5 foot bat, then a weighted base, looks like a sideways H, just change the weight depending on the camera, you can build it with things from Home Depot for about 30 bucks.
Yeah, I like the editing and effects. Music? Not so much. But it’s quite a thrilling and entertaining effort. I liked it :)
See man, it’s like pulling teeth, ’cept we get no enjoyment out of it the way dentists do
lol. I know.
Yeah, good job, a lot more creative and well-paced than the usual “directed for class” stuff. It was a good decision to leave it silent, about the time the girl walked into frame and he started yammering at her I was very glad to not hear the dialog; I have seen situations where basically if this movie was shot by someone else, the music would fade out and the yammering would begin, and then the music would fade back in and it would completely kill the mood.
People mention the line and though you seem to be spot on about the edits, you could still use some work with blocking. Your compositions are off quite a bit and not in the good “reflects the helter-skelter situation” way. Also, at some points the widescreen jiggles, which leads me to believe that this is a widescreen matte instead of being shot in true wide. If I am incorrect in this I do not know exactly what is causing that, perhaps a compression issue or something, but if I am correct, I think you should have just left it in full-screen. It would not significantly change your composition (or add a “filmic look” because the movie doesn’t have that) and would probably free up some space in the frame. I know you are not working with a whole lot of space but you need to shoot a little wider. If you are worried about too wide, there is always cropping.
thanks for the input.