Here’s an opportunity to do your ridiculing with wit, show your snarkiness in a creative and humorous way.
I’ll start by honoring user OrsonMotherFuckingWells with his one liner summary about the movie, Aliens, the action thread that Jazz created today. Pardon if this was not a snarky comment, OMFW, but it sure makes a great one!
ALIENS: It’s a film about bitches and their survival.
The Big Lebowski: A movie that’s not about me.
Fun thread, Odi. (Btw, I recall a friend telling me about a website with short snarky/clever descriptions of films. I think you have to guess the film by the title.)
Battlefield Earth: “It’s a cross between Star Wars and the smell of ass.” – Jon Stewart
A Cry in the Dark: A dingo ate her baby.
^ AH HA HA — that’s fantastic, Brad!
Jazz, I totally don’t remember that… must try… must… try…
The Big Chill: It’s about Motown … and screwing.
Citizen Kane: A rich asshole dies.
^ LOVE it! :D
Ari, tell us about The Passion of the Christ.
Jesus invents tall chairs and torture porn
Something Wild: Kidnapping and female-on-male rape suddenly becomes OK.
LOL, Earthbound — that sounds super exciting! I’m going to rush out to see The Passion of Christ! (gets struck down by lightening in mid-chortle)
The Wicker Man: Nic Cage beats the shit out of everybody (mostly women).
I can’t come up with my own:
Avatar: “Dances with Smurfs” – South Park
Evil Dead II: Killing your girl is more fun the second time around
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Forest Gump meets Mork and Mindy.
Apocalypto: A movie that doesn’t sound Naziesque until you listen to Mel Gibson’s interviews
Jeff Who Lives At Home: A documentary about my brother (Whose name is actually Jeff)
Away We Go: Sam Mendes thinks all actors capable of hip realist humor have day jobs on NBC
Friends With Kids: A lot of people think all actors capable of expressing secular morality have day jobs on NBC
Twilight: Vampires have sex with depressed teenagers
Nausicaa Valley Of The Wind: Humans should be wiped out because they pollute stuff.
Zombie Ass: It’s big in Japan.
Funny People: Adam Sandler plays himself with Eric Bana as comedy relief.
The English Patient WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND FUCKING DIE ALREADY?!?
Angels and Insects: Incest in costumes.
Pickpocket: A detailed study of a thief’s constipation.
^ HA HA HA HA HA
Donnie Darko: An emo kid’s wet dream.
Brown Bunny – one swallow does not a masterpiece make
The Funny People one is fantastic.
WAR HORSE — War Is Bad, But Friends Are Good.
Requiem for a Dream: Drugs are bad, and your dreams will destroy you.
Funny Games: Fuck You!
Slumdog Millionaire: Poverty is fun! Let’s dance!
BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE It’s all true! (except for the parts about guns).
THE DARK KNIGHT But THIS terrorist-murderer-sociopath is kinda cool, maybe even awesome.
MILK You DO know that Arnold Horshack was gay, right?
THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (2008) …which was also the day Keanu Reeves stood still.