Ten Board Games That Should Be Movies

http://movies.msn.com/movie-guide-summer/game-on/photo-gallery/feature/

I could see Monopoly as a searing Occupyesque indictment of big corporations. Have Oliver Stone direct it.

Chess: An epic starcross’d love story in the midst of the civil war.

Isn’t Monopoly the opposite of Occupyesque? When I play I can pretend I’m rich and powerful and it’s awesome.

Clue already is a movie.

Simpsons had a fake trailer for a Tic Tac Toe movie.

What about Settlers of Catan? Seven Wonders? Cosmic Encounter? There are so many two hour geek strategy games that convert well to movies.

There Will Be Blood kind of works as a film of Power Grid.

Settlers of Catan would be cool.

Is Risk already a movie? Seems like it should be.

Dungeons and Dragons is another one that is already a movie. Jumanji was a movie first and then a game.

I’m surprised there hasn’t been a Monopoly game yet. Or a Candy Land game.

I bet someone like Kevin Smith would love to make a Trivial Pursuit movie.

I’d like to see a Mexican Train movie done in the western genre.

Not sure if I’m looking forward to these or not, but IMDB Pro info reveals:

Gondry is in pre-production for Chutes and Ladders, some sort of alternate universe fantasy in which the characters’ success and failures are dependent upon their position on the “board.”

Ditto the Coen brothers, back in the serial killer vein (a la No Country for Old Men) with a grim take on Mystery Date.

I’m more comfortable with the Coens.

Pickup Sticks

If it’s Gondry then I’m definitely looking forward to Chutes and Ladders.

Marbles: The Power of Tom’s Thumb

1957, Oklahoma.

There wasn’t happening in town and the kindergarten through 12th grade school was on its way to ruin, but when Coca-Cola decided to sponsor a national marbles tournament, the town turned its to Tommy Gardner, the 12-year old with a magic thumb and an undefeated record in marbles.

Here was his chance to make a name for himself and put life back into his hometown, only New York City’s Puetro Rican wonder Javier Machado stood in the way.

Just scrapping by in the ghetto, Javier’s story is just as hard as Tommy’s, and together they will captivate a nation as their final battle is telecast live on the Ed Sullivan Show.

Ticket to Ride – Oh, wait, John Ford already did The Iron Horse.

Hungry Hungry Hippos.

With Jack Black playing all the hippos.

Chess is already a book, and I think I have evidence that it hasn’t been adapted at cinema scale since … 1933: all the filmmakers since have stopped at the first volume. Only Terry Gilliam took a bite at a bit of it. It’s a readymade Tim Burton screenplay; Johnny Depp can be the White Knight.

Then there’s the Goose Game, but that has been done, with the map of Paris as the board, and I’m sure it couldn’t be bettered (Rivette’s Le Pont du Nord, in case you’re wondering)

My sister and I would play this game several times a week when we were kids. I still own it in working condition.

Orson approves…

I could see Monopoly as a searing Occupyesque indictment of big corporations. Have Oliver Stone direct it.

Isn’t Ridley Scott attached to Monopoly? (not a joke)

Adam Sandler is or was attached to Candyland.

I guess it’s technically a videogame but it looks a damn sight better than Battleship.

You all start off as a little kid making their way through a spooky old castle. First one to the center of the board, a mad scientists lab, turns into a terrifying monster and then tries to eat as many of the remaining kids as possible. Probably could be a very nihilistic and nasty horror flick.

I want that fucking board game.

What about Jenga?

It could be an art film, like a Tower of Babel metaphor and a scathing indictment of progress.

Candyland.

As directed by David Slade.

I think I heard awhile back that Adam Sandler was making a Cany Land movie.

A while back I saw a fake trailer for “Monopoly” and thought it good truly be a good, riveting drama of business, corruption, and greed. But as far as board-game movies; it’s a desperate money-making idea no matter what way you slice it.

Lol @ Hungry Hungry Hippos.

I think Risk would possibly make a good film. I didn’t realise it was invented by French film director Albert Lamorisse.

They should make a big bloated blockbuster based on madballs. A movie that explores the dark tortured souls of the madballs in a post 9/11 world, rather than this watered-down kiddie trifle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2FsO90jFhQ
It could also explore the grôtesquerie of the madballs and how they cope with our prejudicial “lookist” culture. It would be a plea for understanding and acceptance for the unfortunate disfigured, similar to Browning’s Freaks or Hugo’s Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre-Dame. And also some badass fight scenes.

Try to watch dark shadows, such a good movie.

I wanted to laugh when I read somewhere that Ridley Scott was considering doing a film based on Monopoly…desperate for ideas, are we? If they can make something inspecting and enlightening about it, then I might be interested. If it’s something along lines of Orson Welles-I’m-a-big-toy-who-attacks-a-bunch-of-smaller-toys kind of thing I think I may need a CAT scan following the viewing.

And not to be anymore of a party pooper than I already have been, but have we not learned from the ill-effects of basing films off of video games? Do they honestly think board games will have better appeall? I won’t bother asking if they expect people to swallow such shit all over again, because that speaks for itself.

And on top of that, what is worse? Board games based off of films, or films based of of board games? Perhaps we dare see the day of the first film adaptation of a board game that was based on a film? Forgive the redundancy, as there’s already plenty of it in the subject itself. Just overstating the obvious.