These are movies that I despised so much that I was actually angry about it!
1. Superman III (absolute junk with a very unfunny Richard Pryor running a mock)
2. Secret Admirer (it’s a zero grade John Hughes rip-off with C. Thomas Howell…‘nuf said)
3. Jaws 3-D (a miserable excuse to showcase some pretty poor 3D effects and with Louis Gossett Jr. collecting a payday after his Oscar win for An Officer & a Gentleman)
4. Food of the Gods (the worst of shlockmeister Bert Gordon’s efforts)
5. Any of the 3 Star Wars episode movies…with overkill on the FX and story lines that just blend together
6. Spieces (an A-list cast in a really embarassing movie)
7. Missouri Breaks (Nicholson+Brando+A. Penn = zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
8. Monster-in-Law (surely nobody expected Jane Fonda to come back in “Klute 2” or “Coming Home Again,” but this?)
9. Sphere (like most M. Critchon books, Sphere the novel had no ending, Sphere the movie had no beginning, middle or ENDING…it did have Queen Latifah and Dustin Hoffman!!)
10. The Yin and the Yang of Mr. Go (eeghad…directed with eyes closed by Burgess Meredith and starring James Mason…seek it out…it’s badness is breathtaking)
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Rambo II (1985)
Huevos de oro
Days of Thunder
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Police Academy 5
Baby Genius’s 2
Carla’s Song (it is slightly moving, but I was so very very very dissapointed)
The American Soldier
Zombies vs. Vampires
Boondock Saints – truly awful Tarantino ripoff
Next – just abysmal film-making
Reno 911: Miami – the TV Show wasn’t that bad, but this was so painful…
3.What Dreams May Come
2. Batman and Robin
1. Alien vs Predator Requiem – the franchise is well and truly killed off
All the Scary Movies/White Chicks/chick flicks my partner made me watch…………..
It’s hard to remember the truly dire ones but here are some that make my fists clench with rage:
Shakespeare in Love
My Blueberry Nights
The Kite Runner
The last half hour of Million Dollar Baby riles me as well. Argh!
There is just too many horrible films nowadays than not.
Transformers: The dialogue in this film was just plain stupid. The acting was a lot worse.
Daredevil: Stupid costume but fit for Ben Affleck.
I can only think of six but here we go:
Manos: The Hands Of Fate
House Of The Dead
Alone In The Dark
Ax ’Em (aka The Weekend It Lives)
Limited to the shite I’ve actually seen:
10. Super Mario Brothers (this was made… and I saw it in the theater… and if you tell anyone I will deny it)
9. The Phantom Menace (saved from the last spot only because I like lightsabers)
8. Attack of the Clones (saved only from 9 by 9)
7. Transformers (if I didn’t grow up on Star Wars this would be higher)
6. Fucking IJ & the Crystal Skull (I hate yourself you want to die)
5. Charlie’s Angels (I broke up with a woman over this one)
4. Blues Brothers 2000 (don’t even speak to me)
3. Caddyshack 2 (seriously, I’m getting my gun)
2. Spartacus (Kubrick wanted a do-over, through no fault of his own)
1. Godzilla (Emmerich, may you rot in everlasting hell)
Pirates of the Carriebean
No votes for Red Dawn?
Gods & Generals
Wasn’t going to add to this list but one title leads to another which leads to another….
Compassion overcame me because it was a free screening, so I stayed to the end of this film in order to give the producers every opportunity to redeem themselves.
My 10 will invariably be “whatever 10 I happen to think of when putting myself to the task,” but I always keep a frown in reserve for The Boondock Saints: the moment when the Tarantinoist mini-movement, having long since run out of things to say, totally jumped the shark.
Fortunately I have seen only few genuinely bad films in my life, and most are forgotten by now.
But from what I’ve seen in recent years:
1. Glitter (Vondie Curtis-Hall / USA / 2001)
2. Yuanli “Distance” (Tie Wei / China / 2006)
3. Youth Without Youth (Francis Ford Coppola / USA, Germany, Italy, France, Romania / 2007)
4. Wu ji “The Promise” (Chen Kaige / China, Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea / 2005)
5. Kargaran mashghoole karand “Men at Work” (2006 / Iran / Mani Haghighi)
6. La masseria delle allodole “The Lark Farm” (Paolo Taviani, Vittorio Taviani / Italy, Spain, France, Bulgaria / 2007)
7. Untersuchung an Mädeln “Girls Under Investigation” (Peter Payer / Austria / 1999)
8. Hostel: Part II (Eli Roth / USA / 2007)
9. Der Himmel über Berlin “Wings of Desire” (Wim Wenders / West Germany, France / 1987)
Looks like I can only think of 9 right now. I guess that’s a good sign. :-)
The Star Wars prequel trilogy
Raise The Titanic
Sekzee: Forrest Gump made my list because of the undercurrent/what you can read between the lines.(Probably clumsy formulated, english is not my first language. Sorry.) I found the whole movie plagued by reactionary views. Hint: american dream, vietnam war, hippie/socialist/peace movement, drug use. All these themes either for/against. And no in-between. Maybe the script was written by Dick Cheney…. ;-) Or maybe I tend to read too much into things… ;-)
Synechdoche, New York, it isn’t even real surrealistic cinema, it is poseur wankery by someone who wants to be part of the new ultra-modernist movement. After this film, I started thinking that Charlie Kauffman was just a gimmick maker.
None of you seem to have seen DIE HARD DRACULA or THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS.
You have no idea what a bad movie really is.
(VAMPIRES VS ZOMBIES [“based on Sheridan L:efAnu’s immortal claasic CARMILLA”] is getting damned close, though.)
I get the feeling that many of you have only seen about 20 movies in your lifetimes.
Wait a sec…. …. ….nope, not enough time or brains to come up with such a list.
Derek Jarman’s Jubilee, Two Lane Blacktop, Bottle Rocket, Saw, Hostel and Hostel 2. I have more, but I condensed it down to these six.
The Lady Vanishes (1938). Amateurish mini models…over the top acting…an 80 year old (spy) granny, running up hills like Rambo….action scenes (the gun battle in the train) straight out of grade Z 40’s westerns….a mess.
As bad , but not as funny as Glen Or Glenda or Plan 9 From Outer Space.
Johnson Family Vacation
To list any others alongside those three would lessen their achievement. They are the Jordan, Rice and Ruth of bad, boring movies*
*limited to selections I’ve had to watch in their entirety in the last 10 years
jay…can we make big momma’s house the “gretzky” of that list.
Haven’t seen Big Momma’s House, Troy but I imagine the supremely fine Nia Long would prevent it from being totally boring. If you have something else with no redeeming watchability whatsoever that can be Gretzky.
the master of disguise
I only have 5, and in no particular order…
1. The Super – Joe Pesci stars in the unfunniest comedy I have ever seen.
2. Tomb Raider – I even saw this at the drive-in and it still didn’t save it. It may also be the reason why I think Angelina Jolie is monstrously overrated.
3. Cocktail – I like Tom Cruise. I like Bryan Brown. I like Elizabeth Shue. I like The Beach Boys. I LOATHE this film. It actually made me angry by the end of it.
4. The Spirit – Take every comic book movie (including Catwoman and all the Punishers) and they still wouldn’t come close to the awfulness that this film rises to. Frank Miller has shown us how far the mighty have fallen, and what the limits of talent are.
5. Sweet Movie – This film has even been released as a Criterion DVD. I found it repulsive and disturbing, and, in the same way The Spirit gets worse as it goes along, this one gets more disturbing as it goes along. I truly wish I had never seen it.
Obviously, there are worse movies out there, but the goal is to avoid those easy targets. Heck, I’ve read enough reviews of The Love Guru to know that it could easily notch a spot on the list, but I’d rather not go through such an ordeal.