The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers
Alex: Yes, I’ve asked for that for Christmas, but apparently I haven’t been good enough all year.
Here’s a few I did over the summer:
For the Geeks—a film that never was:
That Match Point cover is terrific. For those who haven’t seen it, you’re not really giving anything away…but for those who have seen it, that picture means everything.
nice allen covers. too bad he’ll never do a criterion disc. but i dream…
“I’ve been reading up on The Day the Clown Cried, which I had vaguely heard of before. It’s quite a strange and fascinating story; you have to wonder if it will ever be seen.”
…
actually i think a few people have seen it, including harry shearer. i’m paraphrasing, but i think he said it’s the most offensive thing he’s ever seen.
Two more for the challenge.
Here’s the Beatles Lord of the Rings as done by Richard Lester.
Perhaps later I’ll mess around in paint, and do a George Dunning Yellow Submarine version.
@ Steven: Right, I should have qualified that. I meant in a wide release. Some of Shearer’s quotes from the Spy Magazine article: Jerry Lewis Goes to Death Camp
With most of these kinds of things, you find that the anticipation, or the concept, is better than the thing itself. But seeing this film was really awe-inspiring, in that you are rarely in the presence of a perfect object. This was a perfect object. This movie is so drastically wrong, its pathos and its comedy are so wildly misplaced, that you could not, in your fantasy of what it might be like, improve on what it really is. “Oh My God!” – that’s all you can say.
and
The closest I can come to describing the effect is if you flew down to Tijuana and suddenly saw a painting on black velvet of Auschwitz. You’d just think, “My God, wait a minute! It’s not funny, and it’s not good, and somebody’s trying too hard in the wrong direction to convey this strongly held feeling.”
You get the feeling that The Day the Clown Cried makes you feel sorrier for (the real) Jerry Lewis than the kids being led to the gas chamber. Brutal. What’s worse is the fact that Lewis thinks this is the greatest thing he’s ever done.
Oh, and that LOTR is hilarious!
I know there are no winners, but I’m making a special case and declaring BAAL T’SHUVAH the honorary Faker! winner for that awesome LOTR cover.
No other cover has made me laugh that hard. Nice one.
Congratulations, BAAL T’SHUVAH! Josh Ryan, our Challenge Master will be sending you your very own copy of Stanley Kubrick’s Napoleon: The Greatest Movie Never Made. Enjoy!
Actually, he gets TWO! They’re in the mail, buddy. Congrats.
in the spirit of J.R.’s appraisal,i vote the LOTR cover as Fake Criterion Cover of the Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(in case we start creating a WC over here as well,hehe)
by the way,this thread rocks!
“by the way,this thread rocks!”
It does. i just wish that someone here liked Rivette. I really need an Out 1 cover for…my personal enjoyment:)
!!!]
Dano: Help With Forum Codes
Sorta “thrown together”, my first fake cover (thanks for the template, dunno how I missed that post yesterday):
My first DVD cover. Had to adapt it a little for the Criterion labels:
@ Alex K — yeah, i never got the impression that anyone who had seen it thought poorly of lewis because of it, they just realized how severely confused he was. i hope it sees release at some point. it would make a great double bill with schindler’s list.
“It does. i just wish that someone here liked Rivette. I really need an Out 1 cover for…my personal enjoyment:)”
for mr. spence:
And Edward. brings the ruckus yet again. Nice job!
I was trying to find a Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattinson hi-res head but was unable to find suitable matching heads with similar dimension/lighting, etc. to mess around with…. oh well….just stayed with Tatsuya Fujiwara and Kenichi Matsuyama but will revisit it at one point:
@Edward
Beautiful Work!!! Thanks man! Even if it wasn’t one of my favorite films that would be one of my favorite covers from this thread.
you’re welcome.
It’s a perfectly designed cover, Ed.
i touched this one up a little bit. still needs some work, though. damn photoshop 7.0 and its limited fonts. big up to edward on the rivette cover.
Steven: Awesome work! How long did it take you to sketch out both the “Deconstructing Harry” and “Killa Season”?
Edward: Rivette is fantastic!!!!
Alex K
For all you Kubrick Napoleon lamenters, check this out, if you haven’t already. If I only had a spare $700.00 . . .
I’ve been reading up on The Day the Clown Cried, which I had vaguely heard of before. It’s quite a strange and fascinating story; you have to wonder if it will ever be seen.