The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers

The stamp could have worked, but the simplicity is really striking on the present design

And those are great, Kimberly

Since it seems to be Nuri Bilge Ceylan week here on The Auteurs (and thank the gods of cinema for that), I made this little diddy…

Possibly more Ceylan to come.

And Kimberly, I’m loving those Fukasaku variations.

Can some one do one for ‘The Crowd’?

Thanks! I’m really enjoying seeing what other people come up with and I really like that 3 Monkey’s design, Brandon!

@KIMBERLY – Hey, brilliant idea on the Black Lizard cover – surely they all worked well. I also love that film, and wouldn’t it be nice if the Red Vic or the Castro can use those as posters next time they show it.

For Gwoemul, a.k.a. The Host

YOU ARE WHAT IT EATS.

P.S. Cahiers, you’re kind of a badass. Love your aesthetic!

Damn you, Samantha… damn you for making one of the best designs so far at the same time I’m trudging through one of my worst.

It’s your fault! You got me into the poster folds and creature feature flick font! You shouldn’t have shown me that websiiittteee!

And thanks but dude, you + “worst” = yeah right. That’s a laugh.

@Samantha

You’re very kind. I’ve loved your covers, particularly the Jesse James and the “hologram” cover. ;)

That westworld is erotically geometric. I know that probably doesn’t make sense, but let’s just say I like that cover better than the film.

I’m not too happy with this, but it’s the best I could come up with right now. And I have absolutely no explanation for the use of the color red… none at all.

It’s blurry on purpose, so don’t worry about your eyes being broken. You see… the movie’s called Distant, so everything is out of focus… get it?

Yeah, it’s pretty weak.

Scout, I will take that as a compliment! Thanks!

Brandon you are much too hard on yourself. I haven’t seen the film (is it any good?) but I really like your cover.

Anytime, dan.

Bedaw, I like it as well, so don’t worry. This is just a forum after all. We’re in a bubble, free of judgment harsher than “the letters were too big”, so I wouldn’t worry. There’s always tomorrow.

For my homies…

Simple, and I think justifiably so…

JP, Flemmon…you’ve made my day.

I was really interesting in using the Criterion “C” logo like they did with Chungking Express. And The Conversation is probably in my top 10, so this was a no brainer. I’d like to see how some others might use the “C.” Another Cache maybe? Clockwork Orange? I’m at a loss for “C” movies at the moment…

I think making it look like an old european poster helps too. The texture is brilliant.

I’m expecting a lot of flack of the “Eclipse, are you joking?” or the “Criterion, are you joking?” variety.

I present the first MS Paint-inspired Criterion cover…

Bonus
http://tinyurl.com/originaltitle

Also that American Psycho cover is great, and Scout I’d love if Criterion released those, particularly the third.

JP, the American Psycho cover is awesome

Flemmon the use of the Criterion C is absolutely inspired. hahaha
ah man, I dip into this thread and there are so many praises to be said to all, I’d be here all day.
JP, Cahiers, all of you > great work.

I don’t know where to begin… I think I already praised the Eclipse Hulk Hogan… also the “Staying Alive”. If it’s okay, I want to add them to my Facebook album (with link for proper attribution). As much as I love the joke covers, I am really starting to love the one who “deserve Criterionization” too… “The Conversation”, “Pan’s Labyrinth”, “A Very Long Engagement”, “McCabe And Mrs. Miller”, “American Psycho” are all awesome. A couple of these stand out as “I would’ve never thought of these as Criterion but it makes sense to me”- the Eclipse Darren Aronofsky, “Talk Radio” and “Westwood”.

In general, it makes me wish I knew how to use photoshop.

My wishlist— “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”, “The Last Of Sheila” and the Dr. Phibes films.

Really enjoying these- Mr. J

Okay, with this box-set I’ve taken things way too far in terms of making a complete Criterion package scheme. I think I’ll try taking a break from all this, just for a little bit.

And here’s where I went too far…

You really went all out there, Brendon.
Love the 2 hour conversation between Gallo and Ebert.

Great thread. All these covers are amazing.