the devil's advocate page

I thought it might be fun to have a thread you can visit to try and argue the opposite of your true opinions. It might make for some interesting discussions – hopefully quite different from the usual people saying the same things about the same stuff. Of course it could end up being a collossal failure, but the threads are pretty dead right now so I figured it was worth a try.
Maybe Blue K could get in here and point out how terrible Hou Hsiao-hsien really is or something to get the ball rolling :o)

P.S. I think musicals are perhaps the most pure form cinema, and I don’t think I’ve seen a truly bad one yet.

The Coen Brothers are the greatest artists in the history of cinema. They are eclipsed only by Clint Eastwood.

Ew. That wasn’t fun. I puked in my mouth when I read it.

Andrei Tarkovsky is the worst filmmaker ever, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. He just goes on with all this philosophical pseudo-intellectual mumbojumbo for three hours, and all of his takes are like, an hour long! His films are completely boring and pointless!

I think Wes Anderson’s film are shallow, misogynistic tales that manage to rip off J.D Salinger, without exporting any of his charm. The outdated songs he crudely slathers across endless slow motion sequences just add to the overall pretentiousness and his choice of actors and the deadpan lines he feeds them are appalling. Over-indulgent nonsense.

I feel filthy.

The only films worth watching are the ones in my head, everything else falls far below my standards……….

i hate women, those damn bitches….

Ron howard is the worst filmmaker ever, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. He just goes on with all this superficial, uninteresting and empty stories for hours, and all of his takes are like, an hour long! His films are completely boring and pointless!

Great analysis of Tarkovsky’s body of work, Robley. The term "mumbojumbo"brilliantly describes his concerns.

you know the road dimitris…

Guy Maddin is a complete and utter hack. He looks to the past and embraces something so obviously old-fashioned instead of looking to the future and trying to truly advance cinema. His films are overedited, misguided in their passion, pretentious and his choice to embrace the silent film aesthetic is idiotic at best.

Hayao Miyazaki is worth bugger all. His films are utterly childish – who the fuck tries to use animation for anything other than anethetising children?

Wings of Desire is a loathsome film. It is turgidly slow, mind-numbingly pretentious, lacking in real emotion, the shifts from black and white to colour kick you straight out of the film (if you can even get in to it!) with their headbanging stupidity and that fucking monologue which goes on for ten and a half fucking hours at the end – what. THE. HELL! PRETENTCIUS

The Sixth Sense is perhaps the pinnacle of the horror genre, easily outclassing old fashioned nonsense like Jack Clayton’s bore-fest The Innocents. Bruce Willis was tremendous and young Haley Joel Osment is a star in the making. Never before have I seen such a mature and accomplished performance from such a young actor. The shock ending was brilliantly disguised and believable in a very honest and thought-provoking way. Tour de force filmmaking from master of the genre M. Night Shyamalan.

Anthony Minghella’s death was a terrible loss to the art of cinema.

Avatar is the next best thing after Citizen Kane

It’s fitting that avant-garde and experimental films have a small, elitist audience, because hardly anybody wants to sit through such boring, pretentious crap anyway. Go take a creative writing class and learn how to write stories.

Either that, or learn how to make documentaries. Start by watching the films of Michael Moore, a true artist and brilliant documentarian.