We have probably done this one before, so apologies in advance, but I am always curious of people’s choices for the worst film ever made. I think they say as much about us as those we tout to the skies. Since so many good movies are promoted on the site, let’s promote some of the bad ones here and have some fun.
My pick would be Angry Red Planet. I saw this when it came out with some of my buddies when I was a real s-f nut (see my thread on s-f movies). I thought it stank big time, and I usually loved anything in the s-f line then, no matter how bad. I was then a fan of an equally bad movie from Japan called The Mysterians, so my tastes were then pretty low. However, I could not take the creaky, mind-numbing plot and was really ticked off by the tacky sets. We all laughed when in the scene of the martian city (most low budget set ever), you could see the strings operating the bizarre spider-monster. This one beats Plan 9 from Outer Space big time! I have a treasured copy of it that I view from time to time (as well as The Mysterians, too, I might add). It is my favourtie ‘bad’ movie. By the way, the same producer that did this stinker also made The Three Stooges in Orbit, using the same wonderful CineMagic technique for ‘special effects’.
Monster a-Go-Go, where a group of scientists and soldiers attempt to capture a radioactive monster, succeed only to have him escape again (even though neither the capture nor escape are shown, only spoken of by the narrator), then the narrator reveals that there never was a monster to begin with! Wait, what?
The Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys called it the worst movie that they had seen.
Either Santa With Muscles (1996) starring Hulk Hogan, or Future War (1997). Landmarks of ineptitude. Oh, and anything starring Shaquille O’Neal (Kazaam anyone?).
Can’t Stop the Music with Bruce Jenner & the Village People or Santa Claus vs. the Martians with a preeteen Pia Zadora.
To paraphrase Roger Ebert, to explain away this movies sadism as social commentary is to jump through moral loopholes. This movie is a commentary on nothing!
While I do not mind violence in movies, movies that are made for the express purpose of watching innocent people get tortured and killed I just find depressing. I never feel proud of myself after watching any scene from any of the Saw movies or any kind of slasher film. Strangely I don’t mind the Nightmare of Elm Street movies, maybe because those show a little more creativity.
But this film only give you twenty or so school children and just shows them getting killed off one by one. There is no story arch, there are no interesting locations just a mountain of one-dimensional slaughter. And in the end the movie does not even have the guts to follow through with the logical conclusion to its own premise.
The Bucket List (Forced to watch), Troll 2, Epic Movie ( I did not see but hey we can agree that it is automaticaly bad), and Evil Dead 2
Anyone who doesn’t like Evil Dead 2 hates cinema.
Also Gladiator, Pearl Harbor, any Michael Bay movie, any M. Night Shalyman film too. Plus anyone who is a fan of Evil Dead 2 acknowledges it’s a terrible movie, that’s the point of it.
Children of Men
I disagree about Gladiator, it is great movie packed with principles and lessons, social and political and human lessons, regardless of the fight and the heroics actions for kids.
Mortal Kombat 2: Annihilation. Yeah, I saw it. Don’t judge me.
I typically enjoy a good bad movie but Manos: Hands of Fate was so hard to watch even with a Mystery Science Theater commentary. Even though there are so many poorly done things to make fun of and laugh at you forget becouse it’s mind numbingly boring.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – My friend really wanted to see a movie and our choices were limited so she settled on this. It was so awful.
Joe-Children of Men? Sorry-it’s one of the best films of this decade.
In many ways, “Snake Eater II: the Drug Buster”, which really explains itself. And yet, it’s an excellent party movie, has weirdly quotable moments all over it, and roughly once annually I look forword to breaking it out. If you run into it for $2, I urge you to have the experience, but no way is it worth more than that. It’s so horrible, it’s amazing.
This topic seems a bit foolish. There are so many.
How about “plan 9” (an old perennial), “The Devils” (of Loudon) or, on a different level, “The Naked Sky”. All terrible movies.
Snakes on a Plane!
In Bruges. Atrocious.
Impossible topic … there are hundreds, or thousands. But one that comes to mind from 1960, a pretty good year for movies: “The Private Lives of Adam and Eve,” directed by and starring Mickey Rooney. Don’t go looking for it …
that one is easy; spike lee’s “she hate me”
Well, I haven’t seen “Battleship Earth” so I have to reserve judgment.
Red Sonja was quite a piece of junk.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-rama may have actually missed minimal expectations.
I think I will have to go with “Orgy of the Dead”, scripted by Ed Wood and “directed” by Stephen Apostolof because Wood was drinking so much at the time.
I have seen a lot of badly acted and directed films, but I have never, ever, heard lines delivered with such absolute lack of interest by two leads. The dialogue is horrible enough on its own, but these two just put NOTHING into the work, to even try to help this shoddy film along. I am not talking subtleties of acting here, I am talking about just no attempt at acting at all.
Criswell was apparently quite smashed throughout the making of this film, and his glassy-eyed pseudo-profundities, quite obviously read off a cue card, really beats his own work in other Wood films.
The feeling that the producers want it several ways is really what drives this one to the top of the manure pile:
On one hand you have a laughably poor, cheap attempt at a horror movie.
On the other hand, you have the selling of topless girls dancing, with the horror film settings making that part ‘respectable’, as if the film to begin with was even worthy of mainstream status.
On the third hand, the rock-bottom philosophizing about the girls that Criswell and Vampira indulge in is the frosting on a very bad cake indeed.
So, until the day I see something worse, “Orgy of the Dead” holds place of pride in my cinematic Hall of Shame.
I really hated 300.
Andre, I saw Mortal Kombat 2 at a middle school birthday and I found it so dull that I went to the bathroom for the last 45 minutes. I wrote about how much I hate hate hated it in the school paper, but remained anonymous so as to not hurt the birthday boy’s feelings.
Needless to say, I feel your pain. The original Mortal Kombat was kind of fun though.
I Stand Alone and Irreversible are, in my eyes, the worst movies ever made. They spew pretension and “edginess” while pretending to be “artsy.” They are both dishonest and pointlessly unpleasant.
Southland Tales and The Pacifier (with Vin Diesel) come close to that level of awful as well.
any by Jean Claude Van Damme
I watched Southland Tales with a group of people in a hotel room in New Mexico and we loved it. Its like a big budget Repo Man and its only true failing is in the casting of Dwayne Johnson. He wasn’t capable of what that part needed. The parade of fading sitcom and sketch comedy players for most of the rest of the cast was risky but I think it really paid off. We need more John Laroquette out there. This movie will someday get the following it deserves, much like Donnie Darko did.