I am a college student. And I am actually Jewish.

Also I have:

Been an English and math tutor for orphans overseas, learned to judge a cheese’s age by taste, fell down part of the Great Wall, reviewed websites on an extremely pretentious blog, flooded a commercial kitchen with soap, eaten a duck’s heart, brain, gizzard, neck, and foot (& an entire pigeon), snubbed They Might Be Giants!, sold cheese to celebrities, refused an autographed ball from Roger Clemens (when personally offered), watched Little Foot’s mom die at least a hundred times, and broken six iPods.