“Experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of the truth arises from the seemingly irrelevant.”
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.”
“The world is full of Laurel and Hardys. I saw them all the time as a boy at my mother’s hotel. There’s always the dumb, dumb guy, who never has anything bad happen to him, and the smart guy who’s even dumber than the dumb guy, only he doesn’t know it.”
“Crazy humor was always my type of humor, but it`s the quiet kind of craziness I like. The rough type of nut humor like The Marx Brothers I could never go for.”
“When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.”
“Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
“I am interested in entertaining people, in bringing pleasure, particularly laughter, to others, rather than being concerned with ‘expressing’ myself with obscure creative impressions.”
“Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours he has been in a different place with totally different people. ”
“I do finish reading a script and say, Why are they making it and what are they talking about? I like to try and be responsible in my choices in that way.”
“Well, The Island of Dr Moreau wasn't very good, was it? I remember the day Brando turned round to me and said this was the craziest thing he'd ever been involved in.”