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Jordan H: Filmography

Hilarious and super-entertaining sleaze. Plus, a killer soundtrack by...Firstryke?

The Last Slumber Party
20 Nov 11
Genuine

Where can one see this?

Genuine
10 Aug 11
Kim Hye-ja

It's a shame she's not in more films.

Cast Member Still
04 Jun 10
Porky in Wackyland

"It can happen here."

Porky in Wackyland
02 Jun 10
The Gravedancers

This was pretty neat up until about 25 minutes from the end, after which the filmmakers must have run out of ideas and so loaded it with crappy CGI.

The Gravedancers
29 May 10
Pocahontas

I developed a fever in the theater during this movie, so I associate it with cold sweats and headaches.

Pocahontas
05 May 10
Troll 2

Man, total spoiler in the synopsis re: Nilbog. Heh heh.

Troll 2
27 Apr 10
The Aristocats

"When playin' jazz, you always has a welcome mat..."

The Aristocats
20 Apr 10
Twin Peaks

This is actually the European version of the pilot, which was cut into a self-sustained film. I don't think they're going to be adding TV shows to the Auteurs, which would be quite an undertaking.

Twin Peaks
07 Apr 10
Zigeunerweisen

A mysterious, ethereal drama concerning the relationships between and forces within four people; intermittently distorted, like watching someone walk behind a pane of imperfect glass, the form itself intact and then suddenly twisted and obscured, then back again. We're not sure what actually happened, what is dreamed, and what is misremembered.

Zigeunerweisen
Oddly Dreamlike and Ferah like this

07 Apr 10
Batman

C is for Catwoman! Roscoe: Julie Newmar or Eartha Kitt.

Batman

An exposé of fear as it exists in the world, as an interchangeable part of life. Fear which has no driving force; it only waits and reacts, the dark side of chance. This is fear in its most tangible form, the kind we might face at any time of any day, the kind that is always there.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Graveyard Poet likes this

28 Feb 10
Ms. 45

An incredibly engrossing modern tragedy that subverts the female revenge genre.

Ms. 45
15 Feb 10
Jennifer's Body

Okay, I liked this. More than Juno, for sure. Diablo Cody's hyper-pop dialogue is only tolerable in a movie like this, something wholly tongue-in-cheek. Absolutely self-aware absurdity at every turn, every aspect exaggerated and embellished, I couldn't help but have a blast thanks to its complete shamelessness.

Jennifer's Body

As natural, serene, and beautiful as a river; flows gently, on its own time, and lulls us in doing so.

The Color of Pomegranates
10 Feb 10
House

A cinematic fun house of childlike imagination. Completely out-of-its-mind, and an absolutely singular, often virtuosic work of horror/comedy/melodrama. Every moment of the film is another delightful experiment; colorful, hyper-kinetic, and the most fun you're bound to have movie-watching.

House
19 Jan 10
The Beyond

Schizophrenic and nonsensical, but what fun !

The Beyond

Subversive style!

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion
14 Jan 10
Marat/Sade

David Watkin is a mad genius with his wild eye.

Marat/Sade
26 Dec 09
Flaming Creatures

Itself, a whirlwind orgy; a flurry of absurd, bizarre, and terrifying images.

Flaming Creatures
25 Dec 09
A Christmas Story

Melinda Dillon is the unsung hero of this film.

A Christmas Story

I watched this alone/at night/during a storm/eating cereal and it was magnificent.

Shadow of the Vampire
19 Dec 09
Jurassic Park

5 stars for taking the breath out of my 7-year-old lungs.

Jurassic Park
18 Dec 09
Planet Terror

"That boy's got the devil in him."

Planet Terror
28 Nov 09
Down by Law

Completely self-contained; filmmaking at its most prime, its elements bare and all that happens within and to the viewer is simply because it was made that way.

Down by Law
20 Oct 09
Best Worst Movie

I may or may not be in this movie. I want to see it.

Best Worst Movie
30 Sep 09
Gran Torino

What a fascinating, bizarre picture.

Gran Torino

Damn powerful.

The Act of Seeing with One's Own Eyes
16 Jun 09
Army of Darkness

The picture is from "Evil Dead 2".

Army of Darkness
16 Jun 09
The Boondock Saints

Garbage made to seem less like garbage by using excessive style.

The Boondock Saints