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The Critic Wannabe's Posts

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Ten Worst Movies You've Ever Seen? about 3 years ago

I only have 5, and in no particular order…
1. The Super – Joe Pesci stars in the unfunniest comedy I have ever seen.
2. Tomb Raider – I even saw this at the drive-in and it still didn’t save it. It may also be the reason why I think Angelina Jolie is monstrously overrated.
3. Cocktail – I like Tom Cruise. I like Bryan Brown. I like Elizabeth Shue. I like The Beach Boys. I LOATHE this film. It actually made me angry by the end of it.
4. The Spirit – Take every comic book movie (including Catwoman and all the Punishers) and they still wouldn’t come close to the awfulness that this film rises to. Frank Miller has shown us how far the mighty have fallen, and what the limits of talent are.
5. Sweet Movie – This film has even been released as a Criterion DVD. I found it repulsive and disturbing, and, in the same way The Spirit gets worse as it goes along, this one gets more disturbing as it goes along. I truly wish I had never seen it.

Obviously, there are worse movies out there, but the goal is to avoid those easy targets. Heck, I’ve read enough reviews of The Love Guru to know that it could easily notch a spot on the list, but I’d rather not go through such an ordeal.

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The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers about 3 years ago

I just want to say that the first Dr. Strangelove cover is one of the most inspired covers I’ve seen, and it perfectly captures the film. Great job.

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The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers almost 3 years ago

Josh – in regards to the Carradine one – Thanks.

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The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers almost 3 years ago

I also thought The Creature From the Black Lagoon with no title was intentional. It’s such a stark and perfect image that it seemed like a title would be distracting.

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The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers almost 3 years ago

Wow. That Jindabyne cover makes me want to watch that right now. Great stuff. And the Misery cover captures the film perfectly.
(Psst…Agee, it’s a sledgehammer.)

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The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers almost 3 years ago

I appreciate the second Prestige cover, but I’d buy the first one. And the first Oldboy cover is pretty striking.

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The Auteurs' Fake Criterion Covers almost 3 years ago

Boy, I go on vacation for a week, and the inventiveness never stops. All the “I Hate Me Too” covers were great. And the Troy McClure covers – I laugh every time I see a new one. You guys are fantastic!

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