1.8 stars. I don't think it's just being a British bloke getting sniffy at Americanisation since I mostly loved Anderson's 'Fantastic Mr. Fox'. More that so many of the creative decisions seem risibly arbitrary. Depp plays Wonka like Michael Jackson presumably to keep himself entertained; Burton crowbars in his father issues already explored well in 'Big Fish'. Shiny, unreal & distinctly unmagical. Not even ghoulish.