No amount of sex scenes can save this travesty. This is the kinda shit that passes for bestselling books these days? I will stick with my Graham Greene novels. Fuck this. Zero stars. Not even the sex is intriguing. This belongs on Cinemax at like 4 am, and no where else. Avoid at all costs
Sluggishly paced and fairly inoffensive if you can get past an ample amount of bare breasts. Casts BDSM in a dark light by making Christian Grey a victim of underage sexual abuse which is a massive misrepresentation of kink culture itself. Vanilla and smugly moralistic. Doesn't embrace darkness so much as dip a toe in and vigorously wave a finger at it. Dakota Johnson makes it all somewhat worthwhile.
Yes, I've rated this the same as The Seventh Seal. Call me edgy, however, I really believe that giving Bergman's film more stars makes YOU the shithead. Why play chess with Death and philosophize with a bunch of awfully dressed characters when you can dive into Christian Grey's dimbles and admire them beautiful shots of Seattle..? This was much better than expected - its probably disliked mostly by whores and cucks.
This is a complete failure as a romance film, erotic film, psychological drama, all of it. The script features terrible dialogue and shifts tone with every new scene. The love scenes are unintentionally laughable. Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan give individually bland performances, and have little to no chemistry in their scenes together. It's every bit as bad as I imagined it would be.