[J. Brew Recommendations: Day 6/7] So Brucie Bruce Willy plays a cut-and-paste super-assassin with a semi-rapey attraction for a younger girl who he talks to on the phone for some reason; and then Richard Dreyfuss makes the Vice President wanna use the CIA to kill him because he messed up some mission in Central America or whatever I've bored myself just typing this make the bad thoughts stop please God why.
If the esteemed geezers of "RED," or "Retired and Extremely Dangerous" (fuck) tried as hard as the balls screenplay populated with stock-characters, supposedly jettisoned from the same hell "Battleship" was, maybe it'd rise to the level of mediocre. Alas, everyone is lazily typecast in lazily-written roles. Exposition to Freeman. Glowering to Mirren. Smug asshole to Willis. And it's so fucking pleased with itself!
Hollywood, you're shooting yourself in the foot: applying this much facetious cynicism to tried and true genre material is just gonna hurt you down the road when you need audiences to take it seriously again. This flick like the Coen Brothers merging with Michael Bay. Gross.
romanticized sociopathy forced into an awkward, endless dance of tip-toeing, ducking and contorting in an attempt to keep four psychotic, remorseless murderers (and their stockholmed fangirl) likable and sympathetic. doesn't work -- these characters are heartless douchebags and no amount of star power or hollywood kookiness can dress it up.