On one side of the door, fresh air; on the other, cake. Upstairs, sex lumbers and groans. On the stairs? Much the same, lover ... boy. We know as well as Wiseau: this world was never meant for one as beautiful as Johnny, whose tragically implicit dependence on steroids, benzos and novocaine (not to mention his beloved security football) blinds him to the folly of playing catch with "friends" standing three feet away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NOlzW8hx5A [1:12] Cut to the roof. Johnny enters, mid-sentence. Johnny: I did not hit her! It’s not true! It’s bullshit! I did not hit her! (he throws a water bottle to the floor) I did not! Oh, hi Mark. Mark: (holding a football) Oh hey Johnny, what’s up?
This is not a joke. This is a masterpiece. The passion and raw energy flowing through this film is palpable, and Wiseau really put in an effort here. Too bad he's an awful director. But if we are going by entertainment value, it doesn't get better than this, a film that is endlessly rewatchable and hilariously funny. It tries so hard to be serious, but it is awful, but in the best way. 10/10 would watch again.
It's one thing to see clips and fragments of this film; but you really have to see it unedited, beginning to end, to truly appreciate how gloriously awful it is. Everything said about it is true: the bizarre dialogue, the nonsensical narrative, those awkward sex scenes, the weak acting (Wiseau's performance is the worst I have ever seen, no contest), and so on. But, what's also true is that it's a blast to watch!
I view everything in this film as intentional. It's a near masterpiece - a bad-film parody (akin to Anna Biller's Viva) that sets up Wiseau as one of the greatest performance artists of our time. I'm not even sure if I'm joking. Apart from some boring scenes (true b-movie emulation?), it's all comedy gold from the (genius) slow jam rnb sex scenes to Wiseau's nonchalant slumping, jarring music edits and me underwears.