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Ratings & Reviews

  1. Lights in the Dusk's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Was hoping for a return to The Fifth Element, but the appalling narrative structure & fatal miscasting of the two heroes leaves Besson's comic book fantasy dead on arrival. Both leads have a vacant, dead-eyed quality to them; lacking both the personality & charisma necessary for the audience to feel invested in their adventures. The sub-Phantom Menace world-building & horribly dated sexual politics don't really help.

  2. Filipe F. Coutinho's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    If you're a hardcore Besson fan, the wildly over the top, consistently nonsensical, terribly acted Valerian is probably your kind of fun. If not, you might want to save yourself 2 hours and 20 minutes of pure agony.

  3. Paul Relf's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Thought Cara was pretty good. Absolutely detested the male lead though.

  4. E. Devin Vander Meulen II's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

  5. spasmolytic's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    This is some of the worst garbage I've ever seen. I turned it off twenty minutes in. I cannot believe that it says on here that this movie is 137 minutes long.

  6. Wee Hunk's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Dane DeHaan is saddled with the unfortunate trait of sounding exactly like Keanu Reeves. He comes off as stupid. There's a lot of big stars in the movie, and they don't do very well. The main exception is Rhianna, who does quite well.

  7. Mogambo's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

  8. Erica Narduzzi's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Niente di speciale, grandi effetti speciali, bellissime ambientazioni e personaggi variopinti. C'è un po' troppo di Star Wars, con tutti questi pianeti e tutte queste razze. I buoni vincono anche stavolta, la storia d'amore ce l'abbiamo anche stavolta. Si è lasciato guardare, ma non mi ha trasmesso emozioni particolari, non mi ha fatto ridere, piangere o fatto paura. Un film semplice, utile in un lungo viaggio aereo.

  9. David Sindmark Hörnfeldt's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

  10. Christopher M. Jones's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    ugh, yet ANOTHER movie about a time-displaced alien race trying to build a pocket universe to restore their homeworld because the vestiges of their civilization were sucked up by a planet-sized galactic tugboat and the army that's trying to destroy them. get some new ideas, Hollywood

  11. Effendi Ben Smith-Malick's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    This is one of my new favorite things to watch when high. For reference, this is the first: https://youtu.be/Ilgkhg6gOWE

  12. DarleenisHOME!'s rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Un super film pour les enfants et adolescants

  13. Rafael Fonseca's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    I've been into Besson's insistent middling wide-eyed filmmaking - his million dolllar Arthur and the Minimoys film passion project is ridiculously stubborn - this being a similar work of a very rich enthusiast. I think it's a quality romp: he went for both adventure, sex appeal, and his full creative vision - both the opening and that lovely first act with the same marketplace in two dimensions at once are standouts.

  14. Kornovska's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Les 5 premières minutes du film sont fantastiques : une défense de la diplomatie comme instrument pour assurer la paix. Très Star Trek, bravo! Ensuite le film devient une suite sans fin d'explosions, de pirouettes et de péripéties exagérées et ne faisant aucun sens. Dommage aussi que le film soit tellement sexiste qu'il devient par moments difficile à écouter. Ark. Une très décevante adaptation de cette BD culte.

  15. RumbleFish's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    La scena d'azione del mercato, l'inseguimento delle navicelle e il personaggio di Rihanna sono divertenti. Non avevo afferrato il concetto che il protagonista fosse maschile.

  16. HKFanatic's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Welcome to 2017's "Jupiter Ascending." Luc Besson has reportedly dreamt of adapting the beloved "Valerian" comic book since at least his "Fifth Element" days. It shows: the film arrives onscreen with enough dazzling spaceships, creatures, and planets to fill an entire Disney "Star Wars" trilogy. It's a shame that the massive production hinges on the cast-against-type Dane DeHaan, whose character seldom proves heroic.

  17. Droog811's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    2 1/2 stars. I really wanted to like this, the beginning and end are excellent it's just all the story in the middle of the film that's a muddled mess. Visually it's beautiful with some spectacular effects but all that gorgeous eye candy can't save this film.

  18. Sefrijn's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Wow wonderful visuals, creatures and scenery. Visuals 4 stars... But stupid Hollywood type of love romance with the 2 main characters...

  19. Annie Gentil-Kraatz's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Dazzling scenes and incredible semi-virtual worlds but sadly the two lead actors lack in charisma and chemistry. The story is convoluted but the underlying plot is fairly straightforward.

  20. Huey McEvoy's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    A highly entertaining hot mess of a movie, stuffed full of visual treats and a surfeit of bonkers ideas - I predict a reappraisal and midnight screenings within a decade. Its real problem are the two leads, who I don't doubt are fine dramatic actors, but who possess neither the charisma or chemistry to carry this kind of roaring tentpole.

  21. hexhunk's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    As nice to look at as it is stupid to sit through. The best effects money can buy won't make up for two leads with no chemistry spouting dialogue that would be tepidly sexist in the early 90s, let alone now. There aren't enough characters left in this box to explain the movie's subtextual racist tendencies, so you'll just have to trust me on that score. Bloated, boring, beautiful colors.

  22. fashionlolito's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

  23. Amine_NH2's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

  24. Rebeca Magnus's rating of the film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    I actually fucking loved this movie.

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