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the world's most wooden actors

Arcanus

about 3 years ago

I think it would be amusing to have a MUBI poll on the world’s most wooden actors. By wooden I mean, they basically can’t act, they speak their lines like zombies, they have zero personality. Please send your lists to me by PM (personal message) and I’ll compile the list.

To let you know how your lists will be scored… Send a list of NO MORE THAN FIVE names.
1st place will get 3 points
2nd place will get 2 points
others will get 1 point.
Closing date: end March.

Here’s a list of people you might like to think about, but feel free to add others…
Fred ASTAIRE
Stephen BOYD
Charles BRONSON
Gary COOPER
Tom CRUISE
Brian DONLEAVY
Clark GABLE
Tom HANKS
Leslie HOWARD
Gene KELLY
James MASON
Zeppo MARX
Victor MATURE
Ronald REAGAN
Robert RYAN
Arnold SCHWARZENEGGER
Sylvester STALLONE
James STEWART
Donald SUTHERLAND
(Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t really count as his first language isn’t English)

like2sl​eep

about 3 years ago

shaolin wooden men :O)

Photobucket

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muleyha​ven

about 3 years ago

Natalie Wood
Woody Harrelson
Woody Allen
James Woods

cutey-c​at

about 3 years ago

woody allen
ed wood
woody harrelson
james woods
forest whitaker
lumber q. treetops

edit: god dammit muleyhaven

like2sl​eep

about 3 years ago

edward woodward :O)

cutey-c​at

about 3 years ago

john levene
elijah wood
deforrest kelley

Arcanus

about 3 years ago

Edward Woodward is a bit unfair. He was rather good in The Wicker Man. Oh, it’s a joke about “wood”. Forgive me. Yes, I do get the joke about “Woody” as in Woody Allen, although I have never heard of the Harrelson guy.

I think we might have a transatlantic linguistic problem here. What do Americans use instead of “wooden”? Leaden, perhaps? Or plastic?

cutey-c​at

about 3 years ago

i heat my home with gas, i don’t think anyone’s had a wood stove in ages dude.

Scrotum Pole

about 3 years ago

muleyha​ven

about 3 years ago

thora Birch
Chris Pine

cutey-c​at

about 3 years ago

the larch

muleyha​ven

about 3 years ago

Pinnochio

Scrotum Pole

about 3 years ago

like2sl​eep

about 3 years ago

Photobucket

cutey-c​at

about 3 years ago

michael rosenbaum

Scrotum Pole

about 3 years ago

Vlad C.

about 3 years ago

gregory wood-peck-er

like2sl​eep

about 3 years ago

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justin timberlake

Arcanus

about 3 years ago

I might have known that what was intended as a serious poll would descend into farce. All right,
here goes…
Blanche duBois
Wald Disney
Dmitri Tiomkin

As some wooden films:
Robin Wood, Prince of Trees
Tree Coins in the Fountain
What Would Jesus Buy?
The Tree of Wooden Clogs

captain

about 3 years ago

Could you define “wooden”, cause there are a few names on here that I wouldn’t consider wooden at all (at least how I would use the word).

Arcanus

about 3 years ago

Dear Captain: Look at the intro post. I have done that.

meg 

about 3 years ago

piss off troll

meg 

about 3 years ago

oh and don’t write me any more PM’s they won’t be read!!!

cutey-c​at

about 3 years ago

oh and don’t write me any more PM’s they won’t be read!!!

okay. :(

Arcanus

about 3 years ago

So much bitterness and hostility.

clockworkdaisyblues

about 3 years ago

Robert Mitchum
Richard Widmark
Lee Marvin

Kenji

about 3 years ago


the “wooden” Fred Astaire

Francis​co J. Torres

about 3 years ago

Hitler

meg 

about 3 years ago

heh

johnny

about 3 years ago

you guys have a very strange idea of “wooden” and “no personality”

tom cruise? he cries, he screams, he freaks out, he smiles, he parties, etc. that’s not “wooden”.

clarke gable? have you seen It Happened One Night?

i see where you’re coming from about gary cooper though. but to me, it always seemed like all of the emotions he was acting were internal, which worked very well for High Noon and Ball of Fire, IMO anyway