I think it would be amusing to have a MUBI poll on the world’s most wooden actors. By wooden I mean, they basically can’t act, they speak their lines like zombies, they have zero personality. Please send your lists to me by PM (personal message) and I’ll compile the list.
To let you know how your lists will be scored… Send a list of NO MORE THAN FIVE names.
1st place will get 3 points
2nd place will get 2 points
others will get 1 point.
Closing date: end March.
Here’s a list of people you might like to think about, but feel free to add others…
(Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t really count as his first language isn’t English)
shaolin wooden men :O)
lumber q. treetops
edit: god dammit muleyhaven
edward woodward :O)
Edward Woodward is a bit unfair. He was rather good in The Wicker Man. Oh, it’s a joke about “wood”. Forgive me. Yes, I do get the joke about “Woody” as in Woody Allen, although I have never heard of the Harrelson guy.
I think we might have a transatlantic linguistic problem here. What do Americans use instead of “wooden”? Leaden, perhaps? Or plastic?
i heat my home with gas, i don’t think anyone’s had a wood stove in ages dude.
I might have known that what was intended as a serious poll would descend into farce. All right,
Blanche duBoisWald Disney
As some wooden films:
Robin Wood, Prince of TreesTree Coins in the Fountain
What Would Jesus Buy?
The Tree of Wooden Clogs
Could you define “wooden”, cause there are a few names on here that I wouldn’t consider wooden at all (at least how I would use the word).
Dear Captain: Look at the intro post. I have done that.
piss off troll
oh and don’t write me any more PM’s they won’t be read!!!
So much bitterness and hostility.
the “wooden” Fred Astaire
you guys have a very strange idea of “wooden” and “no personality”
tom cruise? he cries, he screams, he freaks out, he smiles, he parties, etc. that’s not “wooden”.
clarke gable? have you seen It Happened One Night?
i see where you’re coming from about gary cooper though. but to me, it always seemed like all of the emotions he was acting were internal, which worked very well for High Noon and Ball of Fire, IMO anyway