I'm in love with the story of the game for far too long. Read the books... FML, so fricking shitty! But, come on! The movie was supposed to be even more badass than the games! With its amazing cast, how could it possibly went wrong? So, how the fuck we ended up with this pile of shit? Only 115min that seemed like a lifetime of waste. Sorry but not sorry. I was waiting for so long for this movie... I'm crushed.
Zero stars - even by video game movie standards. It truly boggles the mind that the visionary director behind Macbeth and Snowtown helmed this lifeless trash. I understand the paycheque, I understand the call of Hollywood, but what I don't understand is how a talented and aesthetically-driven director was able to put together an entire film without a single satisfying moment or beautiful frame.
Kurzel becomes the latest director to sell his soul to the tentpole machine with this chaotic mess/ video game adaptation. Despite the pedigree of the cast this is a soulless and bombastic effort that does no favour to those involved or for those watching. The 'second digression' is an impressive enough action sequence but there is nothing else here to involve the potential viewer.
Like with Angry Birds, this confirms a tendency of late to have narratives of Us against Them in mainstream flicks. We have very clear groups, enemies that are irreconcilable. So much that their dispute mirrors our conflicts. It's very bold to have Assassins, since Assassins were part of a Shia sect formed in the 11th cent. We could almost read it like a story about the failure to reconcile Islam and Christianity.
A seeming commitment to practical stunts is undone by subpar digital effects and some of the most frenetic editing since "Quantum of Solace." I appreciate a video game adaptation that brings a modicum of seriousness to the genre, but casual viewers will likely be put off by the ludicrous nature of the plot while fans of the series are bound to feel like they're watching one long cutscene without any button prompts.
Kurzel made one of the best movies of 2015 with Macbeth; with Assassin's Creed he's made one of the worst movies of 2016. "I hope you got a lot of money, Kurzel!". "Yeah, how much did your artistic soul go for, Kurtzel?!". "Did you get a big swimming pool, you hack?!". I hope you fucking drown in it!". "Now that you've stalled your career, I hope at least your shiny new sports car runs smoothly, you HACK!".