Birdemic depicts a small town in the San Francisco Bay Area where, suddenly and for unexplained reasons, a software sales agent and his model girlfriend are caught in the middle of widespread, violent, and visually unconvincing bird attacks.
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If you like badly cut home videos with permanent changing sound levels, stupid bird sequences and wooden dialogues about love and ecological problems: Welcome to this film! But be prepared to have some schnapps during these long 90 minutes - that's the only way to stand them.
"Hey there's dead people on the side of the road. Let's go see if there are any survivors." A guilty pleasure after watching two beautifully filmed but so-so French films. "However there is an interesting research in prehistoric times. Birds did attack cavemen. They used to claw out their eyes and skull." Loved everything about this film. "Well you certainly know a lot about birds. I should. I am an ornithologist."
Really...no stars. I believe the conceit here is that they deliberately tried to make a "so bad its good" movie. I think they just made a shit movie. I'm a huge fan of "so bad its good" but to pull that off requires a knowledge of what actually makes bad movies good, an appreciation of grindhouse and poverty row, and even a bit of talent. I see none of that here. It's not funny or sexy or gory. It's just boring.
A truly awful movie, much like "The Room" you should only watch this while playing a drinking game with bored friends. If you want to watch a low budget bad film, watch one that at least embraces the bad film aspect, like Thankskilling, or Sharknado. Two stars because it was so bad that you will want to keep watching just to see how bad it can get.
Someone said it was 90 minutes of bad CGI, but the first bird attack did not show up till about 45 minutes in -- 45 minutes of the slowest-moving film since the movie of someone sleeping (back in the '60s).