Most probably won't bat an eye learning that "Fifty Shades Freed" is bad and a fittingly lackluster conclusion to the abysmal trilogy. However, it might be a bit of a shock to some that it isn't as big of a disgrace as its processor. Or perhaps I've just grown so tired of flavorless "sex" scenes that this installment's attempt at actual stakes managed to inspire some vague remnants of entertainment. Some.
While better than the second entry this third volume of 'BDMS goes vanilla' simply follows the formula. Quick plot point...sex...quick plot point...sex...complication with relationship...sex...etc,etc.etc. Lusciously produced with another gorgeous sets of costumes for Ms. Johnson throughout.
Weak tea Twilight levels of romantic intensity is glorified despite littered with borderline breaches of consent during light BDSM; the idea that being a billionaire with good looks entitles you to #metoo levels of exploitation as long as your heart is in the right place. Thank God this is the last one in the franchise. Takes gender representation in cinema back into normative roles, making excuses for predatory men.
*moans* Christian..."Yes, Anastasia?" *licks Ben&Jerry's off ur chest* It's Real Character Names Jack Hyde... and Boyce Fox.. and Gia Matteo... they don't want me to be Mrs. Steele anymore... "Anastasia..." *WOAAAAH WOAAAHOOOH [Fifty Shades Freed (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Various Artists plays] *a vibrator appears* "I want you to be Mrs. Grey now..." *an Audi appears also 2 shots are in Paris