Red

Zach Closs

If the esteemed geezers of "RED," or "Retired and Extremely Dangerous" (fuck) tried as hard as the balls screenplay populated with stock-characters, supposedly jettisoned from the same hell "Battleship" was, maybe it'd rise to the level of mediocre. Alas, everyone is lazily typecast in lazily-written roles. Exposition to Freeman. Glowering to Mirren. Smug asshole to Willis. And it's so fucking pleased with itself!

Seth Farmer

Piece of shit. I'm getting really sick of all these disciples of Tarantino who themselves think lots of cuts and a snappy soundtrack equal a competent action film.

VENIMOS LOS JODIMOS Y NOS FUIMOS

Un agradable (pero intrascendental) pasatiempo. El sobresaliente reparto (en los papeles de unos mercenarios tan carismaticos como violentos), lleno de nombres prestigiosos como los de Malkovich, Mirren, Cox, Freeman, Dreyfuss y la infaltable presencia de Willis resultan lo más llamativo del asunto. (Aunque, a estas alturas del partido, ya no sorprende ver a ninguno de los involucrados en proyectos semejantes.)

Ghost Dinosaur

romanticized sociopathy forced into an awkward, endless dance of tip-toeing, ducking and contorting in an attempt to keep four psychotic, remorseless murderers (and their stockholmed fangirl) likable and sympathetic. doesn't work -- these characters are heartless douchebags and no amount of star power or hollywood kookiness can dress it up.

Phoenix Rising

This movie was fun, but was Hollywood at its most formulaic. It did however, keep me entertained, something Hollywood films haven't been doing of late. Cheers to that, but not much else.

†. Kennedy Pope

[J. Brew Recommendations: Day 6/7] So Brucie Bruce Willy plays a cut-and-paste super-assassin with a semi-rapey attraction for a younger girl who he talks to on the phone for some reason; and then Richard Dreyfuss makes the Vice President wanna use the CIA to kill him because he messed up some mission in Central America or whatever I've bored myself just typing this make the bad thoughts stop please God why.

pluviosity

Looked like Mary Louise-Parker failed to awake from her dream of state in Angels in America . Well, it's just another case of old-good-actors-need-to-pay-their-mortgages-too.

Ed Benn

The very definition of "best bits in the trailer". Malkovich and Mirren are great, Willis is his usual self but the direction could not be more boring. As far as I could ascertain, the director's answer to creating tension amounts to nothing more than shouting "more bullets". What could have been a hugely fun film was rendered legless. Pity.