If the esteemed geezers of "RED," or "Retired and Extremely Dangerous" (fuck) tried as hard as the balls screenplay populated with stock-characters, supposedly jettisoned from the same hell "Battleship" was, maybe it'd rise to the level of mediocre. Alas, everyone is lazily typecast in lazily-written roles. Exposition to Freeman. Glowering to Mirren. Smug asshole to Willis. And it's so fucking pleased with itself!