Michael Bay may found the ultimate outlet for his "pouty lips and explosions" aesthetic in TRANSFORMERS, and indeed he spent three entire films playing with the concept. While it may be based on a line of Hasbro toys, TRANSFORMERS is actually a solid action adventure film. Don't come looking for anything intellectual, but Bay knows how to craft a killer action sequence.
After watching Transformers, I must pay homage to director Michael Bay for sharing his recreational interests with the rest of the world. Until this moment, I knew little about his fierce fervour towards the field of alchemy. But now I perceive him as a perfectionist. He has somehow turned human excrement into film. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way.
The first act of the movie is, as far as I remember, actually pretty good. Then Optimus Prime shows up, and things start to suck in a big way. The climax is akin to Michael Bay making explosion noises and shrieking war movie cliches into your ear with a bullhorn receiving feedback from 10 other bullhorns all placed in front of loudspeakers playing the soundtrack from other Michael Bay movies. (Which is my hell.)
Special/visual effects sequences were as.... intense as I remembered them when I was 11.
1 new thing I noticed: Megan Fox the actress, you're gorgeous. Mikela Banes the character, you're a bimbo. You're hot, but your goshdarn dialogue... "Ohmahgawd, why are you here?" "OMG, there more of you guys?!" "OMG, Sam, you're so weird, but since you're the main characters, I'll end up dating you in the end anyways."